you can't keep a good girl down

Hey, Outsider.

Yes, you. All of you who have never gone through pregnancy, you're the Outsiders.

Let me try to explain to you what it is I go through each day.

I'm 12 kg heavier than I used to be. And it shows. Looking in the mirror sometimes can get depressing - but I encourage myself that most of this extra weight is useful to my baby (yes, even the weight I carry around my thickened thighs and arms).

But imagine - being 12 kg heavier, with a large portion of the weight carried in front, makes walking difficult. My centre of gravity gets thrown off. I perpetually feel clumsy. I can no longer squeeze myself through small spaces - unfortunately, I tend to forget this.

And, like my mother so enjoys saying, I no longer walk. I waddle.

Bending to pick something up is a tedious affair. Even putting on a pair of pants is now a difficult task to do standing up. Imagine trying to get your legs into the leg holes while standing up, without being able to bend at the waist properly. Yes, why don't you try it?

I sometimes wish I could strap a belly on you. I don't mean any malice, I just want you to be able to understand at least a small portion of what I go through. You see, pregnancy is like nothing you ever imagined. Nothing. No one prepared me for the clumsiness, the sheer effort it takes to carry this weight, the heaviness you live with day in and day out.

I haven't been complaining so far. I've tried to approach this whole pregnancy as a new experience - something to be relished and cherished, even the not-so-nice parts. And I've also tried to continue doing as much as I normally would. A lot of people have been horrified at my level of "activity". I'm not being unsafe, I just don't feel that I should spend all my time resting just because I'm pregnant. Doesn't give me a free pass to laze around all day.

But maybe all that should change right now. You see, it seems you've forgotten that I'm actually pregnant - 35 weeks pregnant. Maybe it's because I've always gamely tried my best to keep up, even when it takes such a physical toll on me.

Here are some reminders for you:
Pregnancy is a dynamic process. It doesn't stay the same from start to finish. Neither do I. Just because I could do something a few weeks earlier doesn't mean i can still do it now.
Just because I'm able to do a particular task doesn't mean that it's easy for me.

But the best reminder that I can give you is this: no more. I mean, no more activity for me. All that I find the least bit tiring to do, I shall not do anymore. Everyone's been expecting me to take things easy from the start, so I'm really going to go all out to pamper myself now. After all, I only have about 4 weeks to go. If I'm not going to relax now, then when?

If I feel tired, I will say so. Loudly.
If it is hard for me to do something, I will impose on you to do it for me.
If I don't feel like doing something, I will say so.

I think it's time I started behaving in a way corresponding to my condition. Heavily pregnant, that is. Then maybe, you, all you Outsiders, would start treating me as if I were. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and start demanding less from me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and be a bit more patient with me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and start treating me with care - care in the way you speak to me, gentleness in the way you handle me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and ask me to walk less, walk slower, carry less. Maybe offer your hand in support. Or pick things up for me. Fetch things for me instead of me fetching them myself.

If I acted like a princess, would you treat me like one?