you can't keep a good girl down

It's here - finally - the third trimester. Today marks the day I cross over into the final stretch of pregnancy. 12 more weeks to go!

I remember one particular visit to the gynae. She told me, in a moment of candor, "Pregnancy is very uncomfortable." Not quite your it's-such-a-blessing-to-bring-new-life-into-this-world kind of doctor, eh?

But you know something? She's absolutely right.

These days I get tired so easily. Not so much because my belly is getting heavier (which it is), but because I can't breathe. My diaphragm and lungs are getting so squashed, it's so difficult to draw a breath. Walk a bit and I start panting. And singing is difficult - I just don't have the breath control anymore.

I can't bend over to pick up something that's dropped on the floor; my belly gets in the way. Even crossing my legs is difficult!

I have to be very very careful when I sneeze. We don't want no accidents, now! (It's called stress incontinence, people.)

When I drink water, it tends to come back up.

My aircon is my best friend. Can't do without it. In fact, I wish I had another one in my bedroom. Better yet, I wish I were in Australia - a chilly winter sure beats this sweltering heat which stifles and suffocates me.

Want to walk beside me and hold my hand? Be careful you don't fly when my big ass collides into your side. Can't help it - I waddle.

You think that's bad? I'm not done. I haven't even begun to mention how the "Pregnancy Glow" is a myth concocted by aliens who wish to colonise our planet.

My beautician friend said she could tell straightaway I was carrying a girl. Why? Because I was more vain. Her opinion: Mothers carrying girls tend to care more about their appearances than mothers carrying boys. Hm. I am wearing more makeup these days, but that's only to compensate for all the uglyfying effects of pregnancy!

Let's see - my chest and boobs are riddled with blue veins. All over. I've gone up so many sizes, the only way my old bras are gonna fit me is if I fasten them around my thigh.

My arms are flabby.

My legs are flabby.

My ankles regularly "disappear" when I don't drink enough water.

My husband says I'm getting pigmentation on my body. I don't believe him.*denial*

But when all's said and done - I'm happy to be having this baby. I'm happy to have experienced what I've gone through these past months, and I'm excited to see my baby at the end of this journey. I was talking to a new mother whose baby girl is just 4 months old. She said, "It sounds crazy, but I actually miss my bump." Hm. I wonder if that'll be me sometime down the road. For now, I guess my schizophrenic prayers sum up my feelings the best - "Dear God, please let the baby come soon. No, no, not too soon, I mean let the baby come on time and be healthy and all... but dear God, please please let it be soon....."