I'm migrating my blog. My new blog address is: http://lilacjunkie.wordpress.com.
It's been something I've been contemplating for a while. I first started this blog to document my journey through pregnancy, hence the peapod in the address. But as time went by, and my pregnancy being uneventful, I started blogging more about other things that were happening in my life, such as my hobby - scrapbooking. So this blog evolved and the peapod wasn't so adequate anymore. And now, with the arrival of my darling Cherise, I've outgrown this blog, hence the final decision to make the move.
Thanks for following the posts so far - please do continue to visit at the new blog. Friends (and others) - please update your links! I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Congratulations to Roy and Ade on the arrival of their little princess!
Here's a little something I made for the new baby!
Welcome to our world, little one!
Just because we have a baby doesn't mean we surrender the right to turn away people who wish to visit.
Spare a thought for me. My husband has gone back to work, leaving me to care for the baby alone most of the time. I'm not complaining - it's a joy I cherish. But that means I really don't have the energy to entertain guests, especially when Hunny is working and I'll be alone at home. Don't get offended when we say, "Not today, come again another day." Some days are just busy days.
Even my father doesn't quite dare to visit me (and my parents stay in the next block) because I'm usually scantily clad in a nursing bra and shorts.
Just because I'm breastfeeding doesn't mean my boobs are public domain.
Only one reason for this post -
I managed to bathe baby - ALL BY MYSELF!
*clap clap clap clap clap*
Ok, ok, I can practically hear you experienced parents out there saying, "No biggie," but it is a big deal for me! It is the last hurdle! Now I have attained "fly solo" status! Which is important because I can't keep getting my mom to come over and help me bathe the baby...
But just because I can do it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the extra pair of hands.
Last night was a nightmare. I was alone at home with baby because Hunny was doing the night shift. Cherise's been spitting up her milk - a common occurrence amongst young babies, I hear. Got to do with the sphincter muscle not fully developed yet, so milk tends to come back up. Nothing much to worry about. But man! The sheer amount of work involved! Only one word to describe it - overwhelming. So what happened last night? It started in the wee hours of the morning - Cherise started to show signs of having an "episode". Best way to manage this is to keep her as upright as possible after a feed. Not too difficult (praise God for the people who invented the sling!) but how do you change a nappy while keeping a baby upright?? Crunch time came at 3 am. Cherise woke up for her feed. But she decided to poo first. So I had to decide - feed or change diaper first? Change diaper. So I mentally girded my loins and prepared for the screaming - a hungry baby is an inconsolable baby. Went to get some warm water - out came milk. Placed her on her changing table - out came milk. Her outfit's got to be changed now. Never mind. Changed diaper - massive load of poo! By which time she was screaming. I felt so apologetic - hope the neighbours didn't wake up! Took massive self-control to continue speaking in a soothing, calming voice to baby - whilst she's still yelling her lungs out. Almost got the new diaper on - out comes pee. Sigh. True test of patience now! Cleaned her again, and worked on the diaper at twice the speed. Done. Brought her to the bedroom (we were sleeping in the hall - less claustrophobic) to change her outfit. Out comes milk - all over my clothes this time. Sigh sigh. Prayed. Hard. Desperately. Removed her outfit - out comes milk. Seriously contemplating not putting any clothes on her (what's the point?), but I put on a new outfit anyway. Double time.
And if you think that's the end of the story - well, I changed Cherise's outfit about 4 times last night. That's how bad an episode gets. Thank God it only happens occasionally, and it doesn't seem to cause her any discomfort.
But I have to add, just so I don't alarm people - there's really nothing to worry about. I hate it when people think that Cherise is "not ok". Really makes my blood boil. Cherise is fine. Her doctor says she's healthy and gaining well. She's just doing a baby thing, which is exacerbated by the fact that she's very squirmy. So sometimes when she "exerts" too hard, she places pressure on her diaphragm which causes the milk to come out. That's what I read anyway. So she's fine. In fact, the whole thing is quite manageable - if you have more than one pair of hands. That's why it's so difficult to handle alone - because you don't clean the butt and the mouth at the same time. Makes me wish I were an octopus.
I've been tagged by Hunny!
Four Jobs I have had in my life:
1) Cashier at a bar
2) Admin Assistant
3) Teacher
4) Private Tutor
Four Places I have lived:
1) Toa Payoh
2) Lorong Chuan
3) Seletar Hills
4) Braddell
Four Countries I have been on Vacation:
1) Australia (Melbourne/Perth/Tasmania)
2) Thailand (Bangkok)
3) China (Shanghai/Hong Kong)
4) Mauritius
Four Favourite Foods:
1) Sashimi
2) Fish Head Curry
3) Durian Gelato
4) Billy Bombers' Burgers
Four Places I'd rather be right now:
1) On holiday with Hunny and Baby - anywhere away from Singapore
2) Linda's Shop - pampering and beautifying myself
3) The Hair Spa - getting a much-needed hair cut
4) Sentosa - island retreat with Hunny and Baby
Four People I'm going to Tag:
1) totochan
2) starmist (have you done this one already?)
3) erh.. I don't know anyone else who blogs who hasn't been tagged. :(
4)
We (all 3 of us) went for our first outing together yesterday! I had a gynae appointment in the morning, while Cherise had to go see the paediatrician to clear some mucus in her nose. So after we had seen our respective doctors at the hospital, we headed off to United Square for some shopping therapy!
Here are some pics:
Cherise sleeping in her car seat - mouth wide open!
All snuggled up in the car seat..
Pretty in pink!
She looks so small...
Yesterday was a good day for me. I was really happy - not just because I finally got a chance to get out of the flat. Let's see, Cherise's doctor said she was gaining lots of weight. Healthy baby! Cherise now weighs 3.92kg - 900g more than when she was born 3 weeks ago! This reassures me a lot - at least I know I'm producing enough milk to nourish my baby... And she's filling out really nicely. A couple of ladies at United Square said, "Oh look at the baby, so cute!" Sweetest words I heard the whole day...
I'm also making progress in other areas (besides the usual feeding/diaper changing). I've learnt how to use the sling (thanks Noe for helping me out!) - and this has helped free up my hands so I can do other things... like scrap! And housework, of course. Ahem.
The sling..
Baby in the sling! She loves to be in it.. whenever she's fussy and having trouble sleeping, I pop her in and she nods off almost instantaneously!
And here's what this busy mommy has been up to..
A mini album I scrapped for baby. It's supposed to be like a brag book - something for Adrian to take to work and show his colleagues.
Pages of the album..
An ongoing project - little booklets for our friends. I'll be giving these away come this weekend - baby's first month! I've completed five already - I don't really have a quota, just going to see how many I can complete by Sunday. :)
So, all in all, there's some semblance of normality in my life now. Baby's fitting in fine - it's not like those first few days when everything had to revolve around her and there was no time, no energy left for anything else. My body's getting used to having sleep in bits and pieces instead of one long stretch, and feeding Cherise is getting easier and easier as I get accustomed to it. I'm glad - we're all adjusting to each other just fine. :)
Here are some more photos of baby Cherise!
Here's Hunny burping her after a feed. 
Sleeping beauty..
More sleeping beauty..
That's all I have now - will take more photos soon!
Success - I have survived my first night all alone with baby!
Let's see... I managed to bathe baby (with the help of my mom), feed baby her anti-wind drops together with her milk, change her diaper (and what a horrible mess she made!) and soothe her to sleep! All by myself! Except the bathing part, that is. That's the next hurdle.
Anyway. Lots of people have expressed surprise, shock, even disapproval when they hear that I'm doing without a confinement lady. But I really don't see the need to hire one. Hunny took two weeks' leave, my MIL came over to help, my mother lives just opposite my block... why do I need a strange woman in my home to "help" me with the baby?
If we had the money to spare, I'd say hiring a domestic helper would be more helpful. Have her do housework and stuff. I don't need want some stranger handling my baby. This is my first child! Isn't it exciting to be "hands-on", to learn more about this individual who's invaded my life, to learn her sounds, her expressions, her smells, to have her learn me as well? Why would I give this up to anybody?
I'm not being complacent and saying that it's easy - it's not. There were nights I just turned to Hunny and said, "I don't know what to do anymore." But those nights pass, and the mornings bring renewed confidence and assurance. So what's a little lack of sleep? A few more dark eye rings? There's always Eye Bryten. Ha!
And for the record, I don't believe in any of the confinement rules. No bathing? You gotta be joking. Our weather is so humid! It only makes sense to bathe - especially since most women would have a wound down there. Plus, if you're breastfeeding, isn't it wise to keep yourself clean? And what's that about not touching water - there's really no link to rheumatism. Some people get it, some people don't. It's got nothing to do with water. And confinement food - it's not a necessity. I believe in good nutrition. Some confinement recipes are touted as effective, but if you look closely, you'll be able to figure out why and make necessary substitutions.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not the traditional type. Nope. Non-conformist. I may go along with some of the confinement practices - but only if they suit me. For example, I think the longan and red date tea is really nice to drink. I would happily drink that all day long. But not because I believe it helps anything.
And my more traditional relatives would scold me upside down if they heard this - the first drink I requested after delivery was an isotonic drink. 100 plus. The nurse looked somewhat nonplussed. They didn't have 100 plus. Next choice was cold water. She got really disturbed then. She asked, "How about warm water?" I insisted, "I want cold water." So I got my cold water - ice, no less! And had a nice shower later in the day.
I've been tagged by Ade and Roy, so here goes!
- start copying -
* I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
- end of copying -
8 random facts about me:
1. I have asymmetrical footprints. I'm flat-footed on my left, but not on my right. So my footprints look funny when I step on a dry towel after showering - one flat-footed print and the other normal.
2. I don't sleep well without a bolster. Any bolster will do.
3. My little finger on my right hand is crooked. From all the years of writing and doing homework.
4. I don't see very well in dim light. More so than other people. Especially in the evening when the sun's going down and the street lamps have yet to come on. I'm practically blind in cinemas.
5. You know how sometimes we wake up with a finger that's totally numb because our sleeping position has cut off circulation (temporarily)? I like to chew on my finger when that happens.
6. I like to eat Koko Krunch in soft-boiled eggs with soya sauce and pepper.
7. I don't particularly like to bathe. (But I do anyway!)
8. My mother wanted to name me Melissa before she decided on Jasmine. Do I look like a Melissa to you?
Ok, I'm sleepy now.. Deb! You're it!
6 am in the morning - I should be sleeping, given that I'm so tired, but perversely I can't.
It's my first night alone at home with baby - Hunny's back at work, and he's on the night shift. I had a bit of an emo moment just now when he went off to work - a bit teary. You'd think it would be because I would be all alone with baby, but actually no. It was the sight of him in his uniform - something I haven't seen for the past two weeks as he's been at home with me - a familiar sight, so welcome, yet so different.
Everything is different now. We sleep early and wake up early. 90% of our conversation is about the baby. We watch silent TV these days. It's hard to eat a meal together. Free time is precious - we hop into bed and sleep as much as we can.
I expected all this. But what I didn't expect is missing Hunny so much. It's funny, isn't it? He's been on leave the past two weeks, being my "confinement man", but I do miss him.
There's this joke between us - somehow after delivery, Hunny seems to look different to me. No, it's not a change in countenance I'm referring to, it's a physical alteration of features. Somehow, he looks different. His face - it looks longer. His eyelashes - longer. Cheeks - thinner. Bones - more prominent. Skin - rougher. We joke that I gekked too hard during pushing and something happened to my eyes...
So, when I saw him in his work attire, smelling as usual of Fahrenheit and other more subtle male scents, I was a bit overwhelmed - happy of course that he's back to "normal", sad because I didn't want him to leave. And like I mentioned, things are different now. Him leaving for work used to be mundane, now it reminds me of what we used to have but don't anymore, and what we have now that we hadn't before.
But some things don't change - I still don't sleep well when he's not here.
Just a few days ago, I asked Hunny, "How is it I love her so much when I've only met her 6 days ago?"
He replied, "6 days ago? You've been waiting to meet her your whole life..."
And he's right.
The past few days have been such an emotional roller coaster for us. First there was the exhilaration of meeting our sweet baby, then came the horrible worry and pain. Baby Cherise was discharged from the hospital with slight jaundice. We were given instructions to sun her each day and return two days later for a check up. But the next two days were cloudy, and during whatever little sunny period there was, Cherise would fuss and cry. She's like me, see - she hates the sun. She's a "hot baby" - perspires easily, prefers the cool to the warm, gets red and mottled from the heat very easily.
So when we went back to the paediatrician, she told us that Cherise's bilirubin levels had gone up and we had two options - to either have her admitted to hospital, or rent a phototherapy bed and treat her at home. We chose to rent the bed - but oh the pain that followed!
The bed is a horrible contraption. Cherise was supposed to stay on the bed for 3 days - all the time, except when we are feeding or changing her.
Because the surface that she lies on is non-breathable, she gets so hot and sticky after just a little while. And the eyeband that she has to wear irritates her. When the bed arrived and we put her on it, Hunny and I just broke down - it was so painful, knowing that she had to endure the discomfort and we couldn't do anything about it because we wanted her to get better.
We decided not to follow the doctor's instructions - 3 days on the bed was crazy! So we would put her on when she was sleeping peacefully, and take her off an hour later. We wouldn't strap on the eyeband, but rest it against her eyes instead. Someone would watch her at all times to make sure it didn't fall off. We would also parade in front of the windows in our living room when there was sun, carrying her so that she wouldn't fuss.
All very labour intensive.
But it's all over now. Praise God - when we took her for her checkup today, her levels had gone down, and we no longer needed that horrid bed. I complained to the doctor that the bed was uncomfortable for the baby - and the doctor actually told us of another new bed which a number of other babies were using for home phototherapy, for which the eyeband wasn't required. I was thinking, "Why tell us only NOW??? Grrr.."
So, it's been a rough few days. I knew it wasn't going to be easy - and I was all prepared for sleepless nights, for physical and mental exhaustion, but nobody, nobody told me it would hurt this bad. I suppose Hunny and I still have some "toughening up" to do, but for now, I'm just a big softie learning how to be stronger emotionally.
Yes - Baby Cherise is here!! Sorry I'm a bit late in updating here, but it's been crazy this past week. Today, I've finally gotten some time to blog... I'm not complaining though! :)
So here's what happened -
Saturday, 14 July:
Wee hours of the morning: Having some contractions - not quite like the usual kind, in the sense that they seem to swing around and grab my hips.
7 am: Blood flecks in the toilet bowl. Is this the show that everyone talks about?
7.30 am: More blood and staining. This is it, I think!
9 am: I call my gynae and am told to go in for a check.
11 am: Finally get to see my gynae - contractions coming on stronger now (I'm in definite pain!), but not quite regular yet. Gynae says cervix is still closed, but very effaced (thin). She gives us two options - one, to get admitted straightaway, which is boring and expensive; two, to go home and wait it out, and come back when the pains get more regular. We decide to go home.
Noon: Shopping at Novena Square - I'm determined that baby will arrive soon, so I decide to walk as much as possible. It's a funny scenario, trying to shop for my sister's birthday pressie and having to stop every now and then because the pains make it difficult to walk.
1.30 pm: Can't take it anymore - we decide to head home so I can rest.
4.30 pm: We start timing my contractions and recording them on paper. The pains are difficult to walk and talk through now - 9 minutes apart.
6.30 pm: 6-7 minutes apart.
9 pm: We are seriously thinking of going to the hospital, because the pains are coming at intervals of 5 minutes or less now, and I can't take a step when they happen. But then I take a shower, which somehow slows things down, so I end up back at 8 minutes apart.
10.30 pm: Hunny is getting really stressed and upset at me. He wants me to go to the hospital because the pains are really bad now, but I refuse, wanting them to get closer before we head off, determined not to be sent home again. We make a deal - agreeing to wait till after 12 midnight.
Sunday, 15 July:
12 midnight: I think, "If this isn't the real thing, I don't know what is." The pains are strong and quite unbearable now. We decide to head off to the hospital.
1 am: Arrive at hospital. Hunny does registration while I get undressed and get prepped (like have an enema, among other things). Nurse/midwife tells me my contractions are 5 minutes apart and I'm 1.5 cm dilated. I can't do much except nod at her in pain.
1.30 am: In the delivery room now. I grip hunny's hand real hard to get through the pains. No talking or joking now. I look blankly around for some pain relief but find none. Somehow the pain has dazed me so I'm unable to ask for pain relief. I figure it's too soon to ask for an epidural, so I grimly soldier on.
3 am: Midwife checks - I'm 2 cm dilated (only!) - I give up and request for an epidural. Gynae comes in. Breaks my waterbag in the middle of my contraction - the most traumatic experience of my life.
4 am: Epidural administered - bliss! I feel the contractions but not the pain - cool! I try to sleep but sleep doesn't come. Hunny snores gently in the chair beside me..
7 am: Cervical check - 5 cm dilated. Nurses joke that my baby doesn't want to see them, but wants to see the morning shift nurses instead, who take over at 7.30 am.
8 am: Doctor pops in - she's nicely dressed. Makes some comment about how she probably can make it to church and be back before my baby arrives. Not funny. But then she checks me and finds that I'm already there! Can start pushing now! I'm so not mentally ready, and I'm dead tired. Exhausted. I keep yawning. Pushing starts, with nurses yelling at me and I start to hyperventilate because I'm so so tired! I feel like sleeping in between contractions. Doctor turns off my epidural because she says I need to feel the pressure to push. Yikes!
9.02 am: Baby Cherise comes through - finally! It's surreal looking at her and thinking that she just came out from me.. I wonder vaguely what my tummy looks like now that she's out, but I'm too weak to move a muscle. Happy and exhausted.
Here are some photos from that day:
Machine to monitor my contractions and baby's heartbeat (note the hand gripping the side of the bed - that's mine):
Happiness after the epidural!
My beautiful baby!
Baby Cherise weighs 3.02 kg. You can see the moulding of her head here - this cone-shaped moulding is quite typical for a baby born face-up, apparantly. Babies born face-down go through a different sort of head moulding.
All bundled up!
My little Korean-looking baby...
Mother and baby back at the ward:
Proud daddy!
We're all back home now.. it's been a madhouse! But we're all adjusting - baby's settling in, and I'm even finding the time to blog. Will update more later!
We finally got baby's chinese name settled on yesterday. I confess it's something I haven't been putting much emphasis on. Yeah, yeah, roots and all that, but to be honest, I've never really cared for the language or the culture. Not when it was the source of so much torture throughout my schooling days...
I would have been quite happy if our daughter didn't have a chinese name. Better to not have one than to have one like mine, eh?? but hunny's quite a traditionalist.. *shrug*
We settled on the name qian ling which was kindly suggested by my sister. With help from Ade we managed to figure out the chinese characters. Then came the problem. What was the name in teochew? Baby's dialect name will be put down in her birth certificate, and we hadn't a clue what the teochew translation was. So we made a call to hunny's uncle - teochew expert! - the result was surprisingly pleasing. Loh Cheng Leng. Quite a nice ring to it, eh?
It only occurred to me later that night that baby's initials would be quite weird - CLCL. Hmmm. Those of you who already know what we've decided to name baby will know what the first C stands for. But we're still keeping the name rather private for now. It's something special to us, see. And I absolutely refuse to have other people making weird comments or insulting remarks about what we've decided to name our baby - which remains solely our and God's prerogative.
Maybe I'm being exceptionally prickly right now, but different people are starting to get on my nerves.
Don't tell me to pray more about my baby's name. Just because I don't want to tell you doesn't mean I haven't prayed or decided.
Don't touch my tummy, unless we're friends enough to swap phone numbers.
Don't touch my face.
Don't kick my new birkies. I love my birkies.
Sigh. I think I'm just bad-tempered at the moment. Better to stay at home and be a hermit for now. The waiting is taking its toll on me. But not long more, I console myself! We'll be seeing baby within the week!
Note: Hunny dreamed of baby the other day. He said she was really cute, with big eyes but not so much hair. Me? I hope baby has lots of hair. And is fat. Heh. Fat babies are cute. With hair. :)
This next project I actually started some time back, but couldn't finish it till today. It's a door ornament - frankly, I don't know what to call it, so I'm just going to call it a door ornament because it's meant to decorate the door of my baby's bedroom.
This project was scraplifted (aka: copied) from the Foof-a-Life book I bought. It's rather easy to do:
1. Get a metal tin cover.
2. Sand the inner and outer rims (so the paint will hold), and the "inside" - where the word "BEBE" is.
3. Paint inner and outer rims with 2 coats of acrylic paint, drying after each coat. Go for a third coat if necessary.
4. Decoupage patterned paper onto the "inside".
5. Cover all painted surfaces with decoupage medium. This is to seal the paint, so that it won't scratch off the metal.
6. Embellish with flowers, lace and glitzy letters.
7. Add ribbon and bead trim around the outer rim.
You're done! Easy eh? Well, easy if you can find bead trim in the stores. I couldn't find bead trim at Spotlight so I had to buy beads and sew (by hand) my own fringe of beads onto bias binding. It's tough working with beads! My hands seem so big and clumsy! But I love the sparkly effect they add to projects. I think I'm going to experiment working with beads more in the future.
Here's how it looks stuck on baby's room door:
My preggie friends - if you can find a metal tin cover like the one I used, I'll make one for you too! :)
Here are some pics of a recipe portfolio I made for my sister's upcoming birthday. I actually finished this quite some time back but didn't want to post the pics because she hadn't seen it yet.
This is for her to store her recipes.. she's such a budding chef!
The inside of the portfolio:
The back:
I liked this portfolio a lot. I've got another plain one to alter, but I haven't the slightest idea what to do with it. Maybe my mojo will come back after I deliver! Ideas, anyone?
Woke up today (Thurs) and just wanted to wallow in misery. Wanted to spend the whole day in bed moping. I nearly did, in fact. I managed to drag myself out of bed at 10.30 am, only to fall back into it half an hour later, wondering, "What's the point?"
But then I decided that I wouldn't give up. After a little chat with God, I got up and proceeded to do housework. Yup! Cleaning house is probably the best exercise I can do at this point. So I put on some good music (worship changes the atmosphere), washed some more baby clothes, cleaned up my study (not a small feat considering the mess I make while scrapping!), vacuumed the baby's cot, folded the clothes, dusted furniture, cleaned the microwave and ironed a whole basketful of clothes.
Ankles and feet were really swollen after that! But I look at my feet and I think, "Red is the colour of defiance!" I love my painted toenails. Never had a pedicure prior to yesterday (Wed), so I chose to have them painted really red for my first time. My dad says they are ah lian but I don't care! Red is the colour of defiance!
Now I'm up at 5 am in the morning (Fri). Couldn't sleep because tummy was getting too crampy. Now, before you get all excited, my tummy gets crampy every night. Every morning the cramps disappear. So. Decided that I wouldn't try to force myself to go back to sleep, so I went prowling around my newly cleaned house. Found this:
Yummy chocolate-covered marshmallows that my sister brought back from Perth. Yay! Happy food. After all, it's a leetle bit easier to stay positive with chocolate in your system. Heh.
I just found this on the internet:
'Optimal Foetal Positioning' (OFP) is a theory developed by a midwife, Jean Sutton, and Pauline Scott, an antenatal teacher, who found that the mother's position and movement could influence the way her baby lay in the womb in the final weeks of pregnancy. Many difficult labours result from 'malpresentation', where the baby's position makes it hard for the head to move through the pelvis, so changing the way the baby lies could make birth easier for mother and child.
The 'occiput anterior' position is ideal for birth - it means that the baby is lined up so as to fit through your pelvis as easily as possible. The baby is head down, facing your back, with his back on one side of the front of your tummy. In this position, the baby's head is easily 'flexed', ie his chin tucked onto his chest, so that the smallest part of his head will be applied to the cervix first. The diameter of his head which has to fit through the pelvis is approximately 9.5 cm, and the circumference approximately 27.5cm. The position is usually 'Left Occiput Anterior' or LOA - occasionally the baby may be Right Occiput Anterior or ROA.
The 'occiput posterior' (OP) position is not so good. This means the baby is still head down, but facing your tummy. Mothers of babies in the 'posterior' position are more likely to have long and painful labours as the baby usually has to turn all the way round to facing the back in order to be born. He cannot fully flex his head in this position, and diameter of his head which has to enter the pelvis is approximately 11.5cm, circumference 35.5cm.
If your baby is in the occiput posterior position in late pregnancy, he may not engage (descend into the pelvis) before labour starts. The fact that they don't engage means that it's harder for labour to start naturally, so they are more likely to be 'late'. Braxton-Hicks contractions before labour starts may be especially painful, with lots of pressure on the bladder, as the baby tries to rotate while it is entering the pelvis. Be aware that if you accept induction on the basis of being postdates, and your baby is in a suboptimal position, you may have a tough haul ahead of you.
[Taken from http://www.homebirth.org.uk/ofp.htm]
Why why why? I've been trying to do all the right things - I hardly lean back when I sit (because it hurts my tailbone); I sleep on my side, not on my back; I scrubbed floors on all fours up till about a month back..
It just makes me want to cry.
It's like everything I've been praying against is coming true.
2 days to 39 weeks, and
my cervix is still closed
baby's head is still high
baby's in the dreaded occiput posterior position (spine against my spine)
I asked my gynae if I could be induced today. We bargained. She said Monday if my cervix was open. It wasn't. So she won't, because there's a high chance I'll end up with a C-section if I'm induced when the cervix is closed.
I have this sinking feeling that my cervix is never going to open in time, and I'm going to have to be induced, and because it won't open, I'll end up with a C-section anyway.
Just like my mom.
Failure to progress.
Failure.
Big fat failure.
Why can't I be normal?
Why can't I, just for this once, be normal like other women?
I got a manicure and pedicure today to cheer me up. It didn't work. Because it's probably a subconscious throwing in of the towel. You see, they take off the nail polish when you deliver - I knew that, but I didn't care anyway.
I think I'm giving up. It's so hard to persevere when you feel like a big fat failure.
The Foof-a-Life:
When I first saw this book on sale, I knew I had to have it. It's a treasure trove of ideas for those who love pretty, vintagey projects. Imagine - page after page of beautiful projects that are easy and fun to create! It's been a wonderful, inspiring read for me so far, and I've learnt plenty from its pages.
Let's see, I've learnt not to be afraid of working with metal. Previously, I used to avoid working (painting/altering) on metal because I didn't know if the paint/glue would hold. But while experimenting with some easy projects, I found that I do love working on metal - the paint finds its purchase once you sand the metal, and finishing it with a decoupage medium gives it a glossy sheen. Fun!
I've also learnt how to make use of different fabrics in my projects - moving away from using lots of paper, and playing around with stuff like lace, velvet, ric rac and tulle (netting).
I love the result - my projects look pretty and girly. Here's a bit of what I've done so far - I've got a couple more projects which are still Work In Progress, so I won't post the pics up here just yet..
Here are two fridge magnets which I made from a small tin (those tins containing keychains that you commonly receive as wedding favours). I painted the rims of the tins, decoupaged patterned paper, and embellished with prima flowers and sequins, as well as some tulle and ribbon.
You can't see it in this photo, but the sequins I placed around the inner rim of the tin have a lovely and rather unexpected effect - they reflect the light from the surroundings onto the flower in the middle, so the flower seems to shine!
The flower in this magnet isn't glued down - so when you shake the whole thing, the flower jiggles along. The tulle keeps it together.
This next project is a floral cone that I made for a friend whose birthday is coming up. (Eh, if you think you know who the birthday girl is, please help to keep this a surprise - I don't think she reads my blog. Heh.)
The original version of this project in the Foof-a-Life book is more subdued and vintagey, but I decided to go for a bit more glitz and colour. Most of the stuff I used came from Spotlight - my new favourite store! I love this glitter butterfly I found there..
In case you're thinking that this is just a simple buy-and-assemble project, let me reassure you that making the cone itself nearly frustrated me to the point of giving up. I decoupaged the cardboard with different patterned papers, then had to roll and glue it so that it became a cone, and then the cone threatened to fall apart..... but well, I just love the end result. Everything about it - from the tulle and sequins on the painted heart, the blooms and the butterfly, to the lace and velvet on the cone - appeals to me. I like this so much, I want to make another one for our home - except that I always have trouble doing the same project twice. Somehow the mojo disappears after the first one, you know what I mean? It's like I expend all my creativity (for that project) and then it's gone. And if I want to make another similar one, I have no ideas whatsoever.
If you're looking for ideas for projects, I strongly recommend you get the Foof-a-Life. It's a great book. I can't wait to get started on my next project - that's if baby allows it though! (But I think I still have time. Doctor said cervix still closed...)
I get insanely angry when nincompoops from Hunny's workplace call him and engage him in lengthy conversations about work when he's on leave. I mean, the guy's on leave, that's L-E-A-V-E, and he's already told you so, so why don't you just call someone else? Someone who's actually at the office, perhaps?!!! People take leave for a reason, you know. People don't take leave to sit around at home and wait for phone calls from work.
For Hunny's sake, I sincerely hope that mobile phones are prohibited in hospital delivery rooms. Because should he receive a call from work while I'm in labour, I guarantee you that one of two things will happen:
1. I will take the phone from his hands and yell, "He's on leave and I'm his wife and I'm in labour so why don't you get off the phone you *&$#@@@**!" Pardon my french.
2. I will take the phone from his hands and hurl it across the room with a strength born of rage and pain.
But I don't really blame his colleagues, the poor sods. After all, they're merely acting in accordance with a culture that's so ingrained into Hunny's workplace, or should I generalise and say, the whole SAF. It's common knowledge that it's tough being a soldier's wife, isn't it? But perhaps that should change. We military wives have been treated dismally for way, way too long.
I'm sick and tired of all the hours that Hunny spends away from me organising some mess event - an event that I, as his spouse, am not even invited to. Because it's not allowed.
I'm angry at the way his request for 3 weeks' leave (after I deliver) was rejected summarily, with his idiotic superior concluding, "It's not that tough, I'm a father, I've done it before," or some similar-sounding crap. And my husband is the same guy who works so hard he accumulated 20 over days of Off-In-Lieus (he gets one for every night duty he pulls) - that's an entire month's leave on top of his yearly entitlement. And did I mention that Hunny's still got leave accruing to him from last year???
I'm still mad at how he got posted away to Darwin for a whole month just a few short months after we got married.
It's gone on long enough. The Singapore Armed Forces are stupidly short-sighted if they do not improve the state of welfare for soldiers and their families. Think about it - give a soldier something to fight for, and you turn him into a warrior. What do men fight for? Forget the fame, glory, country blah blah blah. Please. Most Singaporean men sign on as regulars because it's a career. But men will fight for their families, their homes and their women. It's been like that throughout the ages. So stop doing things that strain familial ties, stop straining marriages with sucky welfare and lousy work hours, build up those families, and you'll get dedicated soldiers - warriors - in wartime.
It's no wonder that the Armed Forces are facing serious manpower shortages. Why, if things get too bad, I'll simply start putting pressure on my husband to leave the Air Force too. You see, you gotta realise - while our men take and give orders in the rank and file, it's really we - military wives - who call the shots.
As promised - here's a picture of the prize I won in the online challenge I participated in.
It's an album - 8 x 8 inches. Comes with embellishments like ribbon and stickers, and a whole stack of paper, all pre cut to size! It's going to be so fun working on this album - only thing is, what should I scrap??? This album kit is journey-themed: think travel and road trip. But I don't have any road trip photos (because I've never been on a road trip!) and with baby arriving soon, it'll be a while before this family is able to go on vacation....
This always seems to be my problem, eh? Not enough photos!
Here are some pics from our church's carnival (held on Saturday, 23rd June) -
My henna tattoo! Got this done at the carnival for only $3! Hunny is mean - he keeps saying it looks like a snail. It's a swan!
Here are the clipboards that I made for the carnival.. Managed to sell all but 6. :)
Ooh and check out these lovelies which I bought for myself.. Pretty bling!
I enjoyed myself immensely at the carnival - the atmosphere was lively and infectious, and I got caught up in all the noise and excitement. It was great fun selling stuff (our stall sold chilli, lemonade, even plants, among other things). I think next year I want to set up a stall for my crafts - maybe sell some altered tins and boxes, glass jars, even photo mementos done on the spot - bring my camera and my portable printer down so I can take and print photos of people...
Haha! Lots of ideas!
Sorry for the lack of updates here lately.. it's just that I've been so terribly exhausted these past few days. This last bit of pregnancy is really wearing me down - my butt hurts still and I'm tired all the time.
I don't wish to sound weak, but there's really little else I want to do besides sleep and eat.
Maybe it's the old iron deficiency problem again. I went for my (now) weekly checkup at the doc's last Wednesday, and my blood test indicated that my haemoglobin count hadn't gone up at all (from its previously low levels). :( and of course Hunny had to baotoh me to the doctor, telling her that I hadn't been eating my iron pills. *sulkmuttergrumble*
But I'm paying for it now. So so tired. I can't scrap for long because after ten minutes or so, my arms start to ache like I've been lifting heavy weights. I can't walk/stand for long because after a while, my legs start aching like I've just run up a steep hill. My heart races after some slight exertion - and by slight exertion, I mean stuff like turning over to get out of bed.
And the cramps - ever so often my tummy will bunch up and tighten and I'll think, "Practice or for real?" Part of me desperately hopes they are for real, but it's been nothing but rehearsals so far.
It's almost noon now. I woke up at 9.30 this morning, had breakfast and did some scrapping. And now, I'm in bed again, blogging and getting sleepier by the minute. Oh and by the way, I'm hungry again.
A piggy. Yes, that's what I am. Piggy. Piggy carrying a little piggy.
I went for a special scrap class yesterday. It was hosted by MWL like all the other classes I've attended, but this was different because the attendees were all members of a scrapping forum which I joined. It was fun being able to match names/nicks to the different faces, and we had a whale of a time making lots of noise and harassing our poor teacher, whom we affectionately called "Zher".
We didn't manage to complete much in the class (think we dilly-dallied and made too much of a ruckus to be productive!) but I did learn a lot and here's the completed project:
It's a gorgeous transparency album - transparency because the pages (some, not all) are made from Hambly transparency overlays (printed transparencies specially for scrapping). It's really pretty, but not easy to do, because the pages are transparent, so whatever you put behind one page is visible, and a fair bit of layout/placement planning is necessary. You don't want to put something behind your front page that clashes with your title, for example.
I love bling! The shiny, jewelly stuff..
My favourite page in the album! The teacher for the class gave us this design tip - using the Zutter Bind-it-All machine, punch holes and thread ribbon through for a "corsety" effect. Then slip your photo in! The ribbon can also hold charms etc. And I'm so happy I found the perfect photo for this page..
This is also something else we were taught in class. This page holds a three-fold sheet. You can choose to do journalling on the three panels, but I chose to insert photos.
I used magnetic snaps to hold the sheet closed. You can see how it opens up in the pic below:
Another nice page - I really like those new flowers I bought. (Yo sis! If you can't find scrap stuff to buy back for me, buy flowers! I lurve!) The two round metal things on the left of the photo are the magnetic snaps I used for the previous page.
In this next pic, see the flower and shiny bits below the transparent panel on the left? That's what I mean by placement planning - you've got to plan so that you don't see something distracting through the transparency, but it'll look nice if some embellishments (like flowers and shiny bits) show through so they look like decoration for that particular page itself.
The last page of the album! This transparency is tied to the back cover (dark brown cardstock) by the many ribbons you see on the right.
I love this album to bits. Love the concept, love the theme.... I think the class teacher cum creator of this album design is so so talented. I realise I still have a long way to go in terms of being innovative and truly creative, but for now, imitation is the best way to learn!
This album is so seriously pretty I've bought material for another two similar ones - one in black and the other in silver. I'm planning to do up an album for Ad's promotion ceremony and another one for my preggie pictures. Now, all I need are the photos.....!
[My apologies for the many many photos - actually there are more pages to the album, I just didn't post them here. Too many pics! :)]
