you can't keep a good girl down

Just a few days ago, I asked Hunny, "How is it I love her so much when I've only met her 6 days ago?"

He replied, "6 days ago? You've been waiting to meet her your whole life..."

And he's right.

The past few days have been such an emotional roller coaster for us. First there was the exhilaration of meeting our sweet baby, then came the horrible worry and pain. Baby Cherise was discharged from the hospital with slight jaundice. We were given instructions to sun her each day and return two days later for a check up. But the next two days were cloudy, and during whatever little sunny period there was, Cherise would fuss and cry. She's like me, see - she hates the sun. She's a "hot baby" - perspires easily, prefers the cool to the warm, gets red and mottled from the heat very easily.

So when we went back to the paediatrician, she told us that Cherise's bilirubin levels had gone up and we had two options - to either have her admitted to hospital, or rent a phototherapy bed and treat her at home. We chose to rent the bed - but oh the pain that followed!

The bed is a horrible contraption. Cherise was supposed to stay on the bed for 3 days - all the time, except when we are feeding or changing her.


Because the surface that she lies on is non-breathable, she gets so hot and sticky after just a little while. And the eyeband that she has to wear irritates her. When the bed arrived and we put her on it, Hunny and I just broke down - it was so painful, knowing that she had to endure the discomfort and we couldn't do anything about it because we wanted her to get better.

We decided not to follow the doctor's instructions - 3 days on the bed was crazy! So we would put her on when she was sleeping peacefully, and take her off an hour later. We wouldn't strap on the eyeband, but rest it against her eyes instead. Someone would watch her at all times to make sure it didn't fall off. We would also parade in front of the windows in our living room when there was sun, carrying her so that she wouldn't fuss.

All very labour intensive.

But it's all over now. Praise God - when we took her for her checkup today, her levels had gone down, and we no longer needed that horrid bed. I complained to the doctor that the bed was uncomfortable for the baby - and the doctor actually told us of another new bed which a number of other babies were using for home phototherapy, for which the eyeband wasn't required. I was thinking, "Why tell us only NOW??? Grrr.."

So, it's been a rough few days. I knew it wasn't going to be easy - and I was all prepared for sleepless nights, for physical and mental exhaustion, but nobody, nobody told me it would hurt this bad. I suppose Hunny and I still have some "toughening up" to do, but for now, I'm just a big softie learning how to be stronger emotionally.