Success - I have survived my first night all alone with baby!
Let's see... I managed to bathe baby (with the help of my mom), feed baby her anti-wind drops together with her milk, change her diaper (and what a horrible mess she made!) and soothe her to sleep! All by myself! Except the bathing part, that is. That's the next hurdle.
Anyway. Lots of people have expressed surprise, shock, even disapproval when they hear that I'm doing without a confinement lady. But I really don't see the need to hire one. Hunny took two weeks' leave, my MIL came over to help, my mother lives just opposite my block... why do I need a strange woman in my home to "help" me with the baby?
If we had the money to spare, I'd say hiring a domestic helper would be more helpful. Have her do housework and stuff. I don't need want some stranger handling my baby. This is my first child! Isn't it exciting to be "hands-on", to learn more about this individual who's invaded my life, to learn her sounds, her expressions, her smells, to have her learn me as well? Why would I give this up to anybody?
I'm not being complacent and saying that it's easy - it's not. There were nights I just turned to Hunny and said, "I don't know what to do anymore." But those nights pass, and the mornings bring renewed confidence and assurance. So what's a little lack of sleep? A few more dark eye rings? There's always Eye Bryten. Ha!
And for the record, I don't believe in any of the confinement rules. No bathing? You gotta be joking. Our weather is so humid! It only makes sense to bathe - especially since most women would have a wound down there. Plus, if you're breastfeeding, isn't it wise to keep yourself clean? And what's that about not touching water - there's really no link to rheumatism. Some people get it, some people don't. It's got nothing to do with water. And confinement food - it's not a necessity. I believe in good nutrition. Some confinement recipes are touted as effective, but if you look closely, you'll be able to figure out why and make necessary substitutions.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not the traditional type. Nope. Non-conformist. I may go along with some of the confinement practices - but only if they suit me. For example, I think the longan and red date tea is really nice to drink. I would happily drink that all day long. But not because I believe it helps anything.
And my more traditional relatives would scold me upside down if they heard this - the first drink I requested after delivery was an isotonic drink. 100 plus. The nurse looked somewhat nonplussed. They didn't have 100 plus. Next choice was cold water. She got really disturbed then. She asked, "How about warm water?" I insisted, "I want cold water." So I got my cold water - ice, no less! And had a nice shower later in the day.
I've been tagged by Ade and Roy, so here goes!
- start copying -
* I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
- end of copying -
8 random facts about me:
1. I have asymmetrical footprints. I'm flat-footed on my left, but not on my right. So my footprints look funny when I step on a dry towel after showering - one flat-footed print and the other normal.
2. I don't sleep well without a bolster. Any bolster will do.
3. My little finger on my right hand is crooked. From all the years of writing and doing homework.
4. I don't see very well in dim light. More so than other people. Especially in the evening when the sun's going down and the street lamps have yet to come on. I'm practically blind in cinemas.
5. You know how sometimes we wake up with a finger that's totally numb because our sleeping position has cut off circulation (temporarily)? I like to chew on my finger when that happens.
6. I like to eat Koko Krunch in soft-boiled eggs with soya sauce and pepper.
7. I don't particularly like to bathe. (But I do anyway!)
8. My mother wanted to name me Melissa before she decided on Jasmine. Do I look like a Melissa to you?
Ok, I'm sleepy now.. Deb! You're it!
6 am in the morning - I should be sleeping, given that I'm so tired, but perversely I can't.
It's my first night alone at home with baby - Hunny's back at work, and he's on the night shift. I had a bit of an emo moment just now when he went off to work - a bit teary. You'd think it would be because I would be all alone with baby, but actually no. It was the sight of him in his uniform - something I haven't seen for the past two weeks as he's been at home with me - a familiar sight, so welcome, yet so different.
Everything is different now. We sleep early and wake up early. 90% of our conversation is about the baby. We watch silent TV these days. It's hard to eat a meal together. Free time is precious - we hop into bed and sleep as much as we can.
I expected all this. But what I didn't expect is missing Hunny so much. It's funny, isn't it? He's been on leave the past two weeks, being my "confinement man", but I do miss him.
There's this joke between us - somehow after delivery, Hunny seems to look different to me. No, it's not a change in countenance I'm referring to, it's a physical alteration of features. Somehow, he looks different. His face - it looks longer. His eyelashes - longer. Cheeks - thinner. Bones - more prominent. Skin - rougher. We joke that I gekked too hard during pushing and something happened to my eyes...
So, when I saw him in his work attire, smelling as usual of Fahrenheit and other more subtle male scents, I was a bit overwhelmed - happy of course that he's back to "normal", sad because I didn't want him to leave. And like I mentioned, things are different now. Him leaving for work used to be mundane, now it reminds me of what we used to have but don't anymore, and what we have now that we hadn't before.
But some things don't change - I still don't sleep well when he's not here.
Just a few days ago, I asked Hunny, "How is it I love her so much when I've only met her 6 days ago?"
He replied, "6 days ago? You've been waiting to meet her your whole life..."
And he's right.
The past few days have been such an emotional roller coaster for us. First there was the exhilaration of meeting our sweet baby, then came the horrible worry and pain. Baby Cherise was discharged from the hospital with slight jaundice. We were given instructions to sun her each day and return two days later for a check up. But the next two days were cloudy, and during whatever little sunny period there was, Cherise would fuss and cry. She's like me, see - she hates the sun. She's a "hot baby" - perspires easily, prefers the cool to the warm, gets red and mottled from the heat very easily.
So when we went back to the paediatrician, she told us that Cherise's bilirubin levels had gone up and we had two options - to either have her admitted to hospital, or rent a phototherapy bed and treat her at home. We chose to rent the bed - but oh the pain that followed!
The bed is a horrible contraption. Cherise was supposed to stay on the bed for 3 days - all the time, except when we are feeding or changing her.
Because the surface that she lies on is non-breathable, she gets so hot and sticky after just a little while. And the eyeband that she has to wear irritates her. When the bed arrived and we put her on it, Hunny and I just broke down - it was so painful, knowing that she had to endure the discomfort and we couldn't do anything about it because we wanted her to get better.
We decided not to follow the doctor's instructions - 3 days on the bed was crazy! So we would put her on when she was sleeping peacefully, and take her off an hour later. We wouldn't strap on the eyeband, but rest it against her eyes instead. Someone would watch her at all times to make sure it didn't fall off. We would also parade in front of the windows in our living room when there was sun, carrying her so that she wouldn't fuss.
All very labour intensive.
But it's all over now. Praise God - when we took her for her checkup today, her levels had gone down, and we no longer needed that horrid bed. I complained to the doctor that the bed was uncomfortable for the baby - and the doctor actually told us of another new bed which a number of other babies were using for home phototherapy, for which the eyeband wasn't required. I was thinking, "Why tell us only NOW??? Grrr.."
So, it's been a rough few days. I knew it wasn't going to be easy - and I was all prepared for sleepless nights, for physical and mental exhaustion, but nobody, nobody told me it would hurt this bad. I suppose Hunny and I still have some "toughening up" to do, but for now, I'm just a big softie learning how to be stronger emotionally.
Yes - Baby Cherise is here!! Sorry I'm a bit late in updating here, but it's been crazy this past week. Today, I've finally gotten some time to blog... I'm not complaining though! :)
So here's what happened -
Saturday, 14 July:
Wee hours of the morning: Having some contractions - not quite like the usual kind, in the sense that they seem to swing around and grab my hips.
7 am: Blood flecks in the toilet bowl. Is this the show that everyone talks about?
7.30 am: More blood and staining. This is it, I think!
9 am: I call my gynae and am told to go in for a check.
11 am: Finally get to see my gynae - contractions coming on stronger now (I'm in definite pain!), but not quite regular yet. Gynae says cervix is still closed, but very effaced (thin). She gives us two options - one, to get admitted straightaway, which is boring and expensive; two, to go home and wait it out, and come back when the pains get more regular. We decide to go home.
Noon: Shopping at Novena Square - I'm determined that baby will arrive soon, so I decide to walk as much as possible. It's a funny scenario, trying to shop for my sister's birthday pressie and having to stop every now and then because the pains make it difficult to walk.
1.30 pm: Can't take it anymore - we decide to head home so I can rest.
4.30 pm: We start timing my contractions and recording them on paper. The pains are difficult to walk and talk through now - 9 minutes apart.
6.30 pm: 6-7 minutes apart.
9 pm: We are seriously thinking of going to the hospital, because the pains are coming at intervals of 5 minutes or less now, and I can't take a step when they happen. But then I take a shower, which somehow slows things down, so I end up back at 8 minutes apart.
10.30 pm: Hunny is getting really stressed and upset at me. He wants me to go to the hospital because the pains are really bad now, but I refuse, wanting them to get closer before we head off, determined not to be sent home again. We make a deal - agreeing to wait till after 12 midnight.
Sunday, 15 July:
12 midnight: I think, "If this isn't the real thing, I don't know what is." The pains are strong and quite unbearable now. We decide to head off to the hospital.
1 am: Arrive at hospital. Hunny does registration while I get undressed and get prepped (like have an enema, among other things). Nurse/midwife tells me my contractions are 5 minutes apart and I'm 1.5 cm dilated. I can't do much except nod at her in pain.
1.30 am: In the delivery room now. I grip hunny's hand real hard to get through the pains. No talking or joking now. I look blankly around for some pain relief but find none. Somehow the pain has dazed me so I'm unable to ask for pain relief. I figure it's too soon to ask for an epidural, so I grimly soldier on.
3 am: Midwife checks - I'm 2 cm dilated (only!) - I give up and request for an epidural. Gynae comes in. Breaks my waterbag in the middle of my contraction - the most traumatic experience of my life.
4 am: Epidural administered - bliss! I feel the contractions but not the pain - cool! I try to sleep but sleep doesn't come. Hunny snores gently in the chair beside me..
7 am: Cervical check - 5 cm dilated. Nurses joke that my baby doesn't want to see them, but wants to see the morning shift nurses instead, who take over at 7.30 am.
8 am: Doctor pops in - she's nicely dressed. Makes some comment about how she probably can make it to church and be back before my baby arrives. Not funny. But then she checks me and finds that I'm already there! Can start pushing now! I'm so not mentally ready, and I'm dead tired. Exhausted. I keep yawning. Pushing starts, with nurses yelling at me and I start to hyperventilate because I'm so so tired! I feel like sleeping in between contractions. Doctor turns off my epidural because she says I need to feel the pressure to push. Yikes!
9.02 am: Baby Cherise comes through - finally! It's surreal looking at her and thinking that she just came out from me.. I wonder vaguely what my tummy looks like now that she's out, but I'm too weak to move a muscle. Happy and exhausted.
Here are some photos from that day:
Machine to monitor my contractions and baby's heartbeat (note the hand gripping the side of the bed - that's mine):
Happiness after the epidural!
My beautiful baby!
Baby Cherise weighs 3.02 kg. You can see the moulding of her head here - this cone-shaped moulding is quite typical for a baby born face-up, apparantly. Babies born face-down go through a different sort of head moulding.
All bundled up!
My little Korean-looking baby...
Mother and baby back at the ward:
Proud daddy!
We're all back home now.. it's been a madhouse! But we're all adjusting - baby's settling in, and I'm even finding the time to blog. Will update more later!
We finally got baby's chinese name settled on yesterday. I confess it's something I haven't been putting much emphasis on. Yeah, yeah, roots and all that, but to be honest, I've never really cared for the language or the culture. Not when it was the source of so much torture throughout my schooling days...
I would have been quite happy if our daughter didn't have a chinese name. Better to not have one than to have one like mine, eh?? but hunny's quite a traditionalist.. *shrug*
We settled on the name qian ling which was kindly suggested by my sister. With help from Ade we managed to figure out the chinese characters. Then came the problem. What was the name in teochew? Baby's dialect name will be put down in her birth certificate, and we hadn't a clue what the teochew translation was. So we made a call to hunny's uncle - teochew expert! - the result was surprisingly pleasing. Loh Cheng Leng. Quite a nice ring to it, eh?
It only occurred to me later that night that baby's initials would be quite weird - CLCL. Hmmm. Those of you who already know what we've decided to name baby will know what the first C stands for. But we're still keeping the name rather private for now. It's something special to us, see. And I absolutely refuse to have other people making weird comments or insulting remarks about what we've decided to name our baby - which remains solely our and God's prerogative.
Maybe I'm being exceptionally prickly right now, but different people are starting to get on my nerves.
Don't tell me to pray more about my baby's name. Just because I don't want to tell you doesn't mean I haven't prayed or decided.
Don't touch my tummy, unless we're friends enough to swap phone numbers.
Don't touch my face.
Don't kick my new birkies. I love my birkies.
Sigh. I think I'm just bad-tempered at the moment. Better to stay at home and be a hermit for now. The waiting is taking its toll on me. But not long more, I console myself! We'll be seeing baby within the week!
Note: Hunny dreamed of baby the other day. He said she was really cute, with big eyes but not so much hair. Me? I hope baby has lots of hair. And is fat. Heh. Fat babies are cute. With hair. :)
This next project I actually started some time back, but couldn't finish it till today. It's a door ornament - frankly, I don't know what to call it, so I'm just going to call it a door ornament because it's meant to decorate the door of my baby's bedroom.
This project was scraplifted (aka: copied) from the Foof-a-Life book I bought. It's rather easy to do:
1. Get a metal tin cover.
2. Sand the inner and outer rims (so the paint will hold), and the "inside" - where the word "BEBE" is.
3. Paint inner and outer rims with 2 coats of acrylic paint, drying after each coat. Go for a third coat if necessary.
4. Decoupage patterned paper onto the "inside".
5. Cover all painted surfaces with decoupage medium. This is to seal the paint, so that it won't scratch off the metal.
6. Embellish with flowers, lace and glitzy letters.
7. Add ribbon and bead trim around the outer rim.
You're done! Easy eh? Well, easy if you can find bead trim in the stores. I couldn't find bead trim at Spotlight so I had to buy beads and sew (by hand) my own fringe of beads onto bias binding. It's tough working with beads! My hands seem so big and clumsy! But I love the sparkly effect they add to projects. I think I'm going to experiment working with beads more in the future.
Here's how it looks stuck on baby's room door:
My preggie friends - if you can find a metal tin cover like the one I used, I'll make one for you too! :)
