you can't keep a good girl down

Different address, same author.

2007-08-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

I'm migrating my blog. My new blog address is: http://lilacjunkie.wordpress.com.

It's been something I've been contemplating for a while. I first started this blog to document my journey through pregnancy, hence the peapod in the address. But as time went by, and my pregnancy being uneventful, I started blogging more about other things that were happening in my life, such as my hobby - scrapbooking. So this blog evolved and the peapod wasn't so adequate anymore. And now, with the arrival of my darling Cherise, I've outgrown this blog, hence the final decision to make the move.

Thanks for following the posts so far - please do continue to visit at the new blog. Friends (and others) - please update your links! I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Welcome!

2007-08-17T12:30:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to Roy and Ade on the arrival of their little princess!

Here's a little something I made for the new baby!

Welcome to our world, little one!

Public Domain

2007-08-15T16:19:00.000+08:00

Just because we have a baby doesn't mean we surrender the right to turn away people who wish to visit.

Spare a thought for me. My husband has gone back to work, leaving me to care for the baby alone most of the time. I'm not complaining - it's a joy I cherish. But that means I really don't have the energy to entertain guests, especially when Hunny is working and I'll be alone at home. Don't get offended when we say, "Not today, come again another day." Some days are just busy days.

Even my father doesn't quite dare to visit me (and my parents stay in the next block) because I'm usually scantily clad in a nursing bra and shorts.

Just because I'm breastfeeding doesn't mean my boobs are public domain.

Accomplishment!

2007-08-15T13:11:00.000+08:00

Only one reason for this post -

I managed to bathe baby - ALL BY MYSELF!

*clap clap clap clap clap*

Ok, ok, I can practically hear you experienced parents out there saying, "No biggie," but it is a big deal for me! It is the last hurdle! Now I have attained "fly solo" status! Which is important because I can't keep getting my mom to come over and help me bathe the baby...

But just because I can do it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the extra pair of hands.

Last night was a nightmare. I was alone at home with baby because Hunny was doing the night shift. Cherise's been spitting up her milk - a common occurrence amongst young babies, I hear. Got to do with the sphincter muscle not fully developed yet, so milk tends to come back up. Nothing much to worry about. But man! The sheer amount of work involved! Only one word to describe it - overwhelming. So what happened last night? It started in the wee hours of the morning - Cherise started to show signs of having an "episode". Best way to manage this is to keep her as upright as possible after a feed. Not too difficult (praise God for the people who invented the sling!) but how do you change a nappy while keeping a baby upright?? Crunch time came at 3 am. Cherise woke up for her feed. But she decided to poo first. So I had to decide - feed or change diaper first? Change diaper. So I mentally girded my loins and prepared for the screaming - a hungry baby is an inconsolable baby. Went to get some warm water - out came milk. Placed her on her changing table - out came milk. Her outfit's got to be changed now. Never mind. Changed diaper - massive load of poo! By which time she was screaming. I felt so apologetic - hope the neighbours didn't wake up! Took massive self-control to continue speaking in a soothing, calming voice to baby - whilst she's still yelling her lungs out. Almost got the new diaper on - out comes pee. Sigh. True test of patience now! Cleaned her again, and worked on the diaper at twice the speed. Done. Brought her to the bedroom (we were sleeping in the hall - less claustrophobic) to change her outfit. Out comes milk - all over my clothes this time. Sigh sigh. Prayed. Hard. Desperately. Removed her outfit - out comes milk. Seriously contemplating not putting any clothes on her (what's the point?), but I put on a new outfit anyway. Double time.

And if you think that's the end of the story - well, I changed Cherise's outfit about 4 times last night. That's how bad an episode gets. Thank God it only happens occasionally, and it doesn't seem to cause her any discomfort.

But I have to add, just so I don't alarm people - there's really nothing to worry about. I hate it when people think that Cherise is "not ok". Really makes my blood boil. Cherise is fine. Her doctor says she's healthy and gaining well. She's just doing a baby thing, which is exacerbated by the fact that she's very squirmy. So sometimes when she "exerts" too hard, she places pressure on her diaphragm which causes the milk to come out. That's what I read anyway. So she's fine. In fact, the whole thing is quite manageable - if you have more than one pair of hands. That's why it's so difficult to handle alone - because you don't clean the butt and the mouth at the same time. Makes me wish I were an octopus.

The Fours is Strong with You...

2007-08-10T15:36:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by Hunny!

Four Jobs I have had in my life:
1) Cashier at a bar
2) Admin Assistant
3) Teacher
4) Private Tutor

Four Places I have lived:
1) Toa Payoh
2) Lorong Chuan
3) Seletar Hills
4) Braddell

Four Countries I have been on Vacation:
1) Australia (Melbourne/Perth/Tasmania)
2) Thailand (Bangkok)
3) China (Shanghai/Hong Kong)
4) Mauritius

Four Favourite Foods:
1) Sashimi
2) Fish Head Curry
3) Durian Gelato
4) Billy Bombers' Burgers

Four Places I'd rather be right now:
1) On holiday with Hunny and Baby - anywhere away from Singapore
2) Linda's Shop - pampering and beautifying myself
3) The Hair Spa - getting a much-needed hair cut
4) Sentosa - island retreat with Hunny and Baby

Four People I'm going to Tag:
1) totochan
2) starmist (have you done this one already?)
3) erh.. I don't know anyone else who blogs who hasn't been tagged. :(
4)

Back to Normal! (Almost....)

2007-08-09T14:58:00.000+08:00

We (all 3 of us) went for our first outing together yesterday! I had a gynae appointment in the morning, while Cherise had to go see the paediatrician to clear some mucus in her nose. So after we had seen our respective doctors at the hospital, we headed off to United Square for some shopping therapy!

Here are some pics:

Cherise sleeping in her car seat - mouth wide open!

All snuggled up in the car seat..

Pretty in pink!

She looks so small...

Yesterday was a good day for me. I was really happy - not just because I finally got a chance to get out of the flat. Let's see, Cherise's doctor said she was gaining lots of weight. Healthy baby! Cherise now weighs 3.92kg - 900g more than when she was born 3 weeks ago! This reassures me a lot - at least I know I'm producing enough milk to nourish my baby... And she's filling out really nicely. A couple of ladies at United Square said, "Oh look at the baby, so cute!" Sweetest words I heard the whole day...

I'm also making progress in other areas (besides the usual feeding/diaper changing). I've learnt how to use the sling (thanks Noe for helping me out!) - and this has helped free up my hands so I can do other things... like scrap! And housework, of course. Ahem.

The sling..

Baby in the sling! She loves to be in it.. whenever she's fussy and having trouble sleeping, I pop her in and she nods off almost instantaneously!

And here's what this busy mommy has been up to..

A mini album I scrapped for baby. It's supposed to be like a brag book - something for Adrian to take to work and show his colleagues.

Pages of the album..

An ongoing project - little booklets for our friends. I'll be giving these away come this weekend - baby's first month! I've completed five already - I don't really have a quota, just going to see how many I can complete by Sunday. :)

So, all in all, there's some semblance of normality in my life now. Baby's fitting in fine - it's not like those first few days when everything had to revolve around her and there was no time, no energy left for anything else. My body's getting used to having sleep in bits and pieces instead of one long stretch, and feeding Cherise is getting easier and easier as I get accustomed to it. I'm glad - we're all adjusting to each other just fine. :)

More Photos!

2007-08-01T10:21:00.001+08:00

Here are some more photos of baby Cherise!

Here's Hunny burping her after a feed.

Sleeping beauty..

More sleeping beauty..

That's all I have now - will take more photos soon!

Hurdle - Cleared!

2007-08-01T09:48:00.000+08:00

Success - I have survived my first night all alone with baby!

Let's see... I managed to bathe baby (with the help of my mom), feed baby her anti-wind drops together with her milk, change her diaper (and what a horrible mess she made!) and soothe her to sleep! All by myself! Except the bathing part, that is. That's the next hurdle.

Anyway. Lots of people have expressed surprise, shock, even disapproval when they hear that I'm doing without a confinement lady. But I really don't see the need to hire one. Hunny took two weeks' leave, my MIL came over to help, my mother lives just opposite my block... why do I need a strange woman in my home to "help" me with the baby?

If we had the money to spare, I'd say hiring a domestic helper would be more helpful. Have her do housework and stuff. I don't ~~need~~ want some stranger handling my baby. This is my first child! Isn't it exciting to be "hands-on", to learn more about this individual who's invaded my life, to learn her sounds, her expressions, her smells, to have her learn me as well? Why would I give this up to anybody?

I'm not being complacent and saying that it's easy - it's not. There were nights I just turned to Hunny and said, "I don't know what to do anymore." But those nights pass, and the mornings bring renewed confidence and assurance. So what's a little lack of sleep? A few more dark eye rings? There's always Eye Bryten. Ha!

And for the record, I don't believe in any of the confinement rules. No bathing? You gotta be joking. Our weather is so humid! It only makes sense to bathe - especially since most women would have a wound down there. Plus, if you're breastfeeding, isn't it wise to keep yourself clean? And what's that about not touching water - there's really no link to rheumatism. Some people get it, some people don't. It's got nothing to do with water. And confinement food - it's not a necessity. I believe in good nutrition. Some confinement recipes are touted as effective, but if you look closely, you'll be able to figure out why and make necessary substitutions.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not the traditional type. Nope. Non-conformist. I may go along with some of the confinement practices - but only if they suit me. For example, I think the longan and red date tea is really nice to drink. I would happily drink that all day long. But not because I believe it helps anything.

And my more traditional relatives would scold me upside down if they heard this - the first drink I requested after delivery was an isotonic drink. 100 plus. The nurse looked somewhat nonplussed. They didn't have 100 plus. Next choice was cold water. She got really disturbed then. She asked, "How about warm water?" I insisted, "I want cold water." So I got my cold water - ice, no less! And had a nice shower later in the day.

Tag! You're it!

2007-08-01T06:36:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by Ade and Roy, so here goes!

- start copying -
* I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
- end of copying -

8 random facts about me:

1. I have asymmetrical footprints. I'm flat-footed on my left, but not on my right. So my footprints look funny when I step on a dry towel after showering - one flat-footed print and the other normal.

2. I don't sleep well without a bolster. Any bolster will do.

3. My little finger on my right hand is crooked. From all the years of writing and doing homework.

4. I don't see very well in dim light. More so than other people. Especially in the evening when the sun's going down and the street lamps have yet to come on. I'm practically blind in cinemas.

5. You know how sometimes we wake up with a finger that's totally numb because our sleeping position has cut off circulation (temporarily)? I like to chew on my finger when that happens.

6. I like to eat Koko Krunch in soft-boiled eggs with soya sauce and pepper.

7. I don't particularly like to bathe. (But I do anyway!)

8. My mother wanted to name me Melissa before she decided on Jasmine. Do I look like a Melissa to you?

Ok, I'm sleepy now.. Deb! You're it!

Home Alone

2007-08-01T06:14:00.001+08:00

6 am in the morning - I should be sleeping, given that I'm so tired, but perversely I can't.

It's my first night alone at home with baby - Hunny's back at work, and he's on the night shift. I had a bit of an emo moment just now when he went off to work - a bit teary. You'd think it would be because I would be all alone with baby, but actually no. It was the sight of him in his uniform - something I haven't seen for the past two weeks as he's been at home with me - a familiar sight, so welcome, yet so different.

Everything is different now. We sleep early and wake up early. 90% of our conversation is about the baby. We watch silent TV these days. It's hard to eat a meal together. Free time is precious - we hop into bed and sleep as much as we can.

I expected all this. But what I didn't expect is missing Hunny so much. It's funny, isn't it? He's been on leave the past two weeks, being my "confinement man", but I do miss him.

There's this joke between us - somehow after delivery, Hunny seems to look different to me. No, it's not a change in countenance I'm referring to, it's a physical alteration of features. Somehow, he looks different. His face - it looks longer. His eyelashes - longer. Cheeks - thinner. Bones - more prominent. Skin - rougher. We joke that I gekked too hard during pushing and something happened to my eyes...

So, when I saw him in his work attire, smelling as usual of Fahrenheit and other more subtle male scents, I was a bit overwhelmed - happy of course that he's back to "normal", sad because I didn't want him to leave. And like I mentioned, things are different now. Him leaving for work used to be mundane, now it reminds me of what we used to have but don't anymore, and what we have now that we hadn't before.

But some things don't change - I still don't sleep well when he's not here.

It hurts so bad..

2007-07-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Just a few days ago, I asked Hunny, "How is it I love her so much when I've only met her 6 days ago?"

He replied, "6 days ago? You've been waiting to meet her your whole life..."

And he's right.

The past few days have been such an emotional roller coaster for us. First there was the exhilaration of meeting our sweet baby, then came the horrible worry and pain. Baby Cherise was discharged from the hospital with slight jaundice. We were given instructions to sun her each day and return two days later for a check up. But the next two days were cloudy, and during whatever little sunny period there was, Cherise would fuss and cry. She's like me, see - she hates the sun. She's a "hot baby" - perspires easily, prefers the cool to the warm, gets red and mottled from the heat very easily.

So when we went back to the paediatrician, she told us that Cherise's bilirubin levels had gone up and we had two options - to either have her admitted to hospital, or rent a phototherapy bed and treat her at home. We chose to rent the bed - but oh the pain that followed!

The bed is a horrible contraption. Cherise was supposed to stay on the bed for 3 days - all the time, except when we are feeding or changing her.

Because the surface that she lies on is non-breathable, she gets so hot and sticky after just a little while. And the eyeband that she has to wear irritates her. When the bed arrived and we put her on it, Hunny and I just broke down - it was so painful, knowing that she had to endure the discomfort and we couldn't do anything about it because we wanted her to get better.

We decided not to follow the doctor's instructions - 3 days on the bed was crazy! So we would put her on when she was sleeping peacefully, and take her off an hour later. We wouldn't strap on the eyeband, but rest it against her eyes instead. Someone would watch her at all times to make sure it didn't fall off. We would also parade in front of the windows in our living room when there was sun, carrying her so that she wouldn't fuss.

All very labour intensive.

But it's all over now. Praise God - when we took her for her checkup today, her levels had gone down, and we no longer needed that horrid bed. I complained to the doctor that the bed was uncomfortable for the baby - and the doctor actually told us of another new bed which a number of other babies were using for home phototherapy, for which the eyeband wasn't required. I was thinking, "Why tell us only NOW??? Grrr.."

So, it's been a rough few days. I knew it wasn't going to be easy - and I was all prepared for sleepless nights, for physical and mental exhaustion, but nobody, nobody told me it would hurt this bad. I suppose Hunny and I still have some "toughening up" to do, but for now, I'm just a big softie learning how to be stronger emotionally.

A New Arrival! Birthstory..

2007-07-20T15:19:00.000+08:00

Yes - Baby Cherise is here!! Sorry I'm a bit late in updating here, but it's been crazy this past week. Today, I've finally gotten some time to blog... I'm not complaining though! :)

So here's what happened -

Saturday, 14 July:
Wee hours of the morning: Having some contractions - not quite like the usual kind, in the sense that they seem to swing around and grab my hips.
7 am: Blood flecks in the toilet bowl. Is this the show that everyone talks about?
7.30 am: More blood and staining. This is it, I think!
9 am: I call my gynae and am told to go in for a check.
11 am: Finally get to see my gynae - contractions coming on stronger now (I'm in definite pain!), but not quite regular yet. Gynae says cervix is still closed, but very effaced (thin). She gives us two options - one, to get admitted straightaway, which is boring and expensive; two, to go home and wait it out, and come back when the pains get more regular. We decide to go home.

Noon: Shopping at Novena Square - I'm determined that baby will arrive soon, so I decide to walk as much as possible. It's a funny scenario, trying to shop for my sister's birthday pressie and having to stop every now and then because the pains make it difficult to walk.

1.30 pm: Can't take it anymore - we decide to head home so I can rest.
4.30 pm: We start timing my contractions and recording them on paper. The pains are difficult to walk and talk through now - 9 minutes apart.
6.30 pm: 6-7 minutes apart.
9 pm: We are seriously thinking of going to the hospital, because the pains are coming at intervals of 5 minutes or less now, and I can't take a step when they happen. But then I take a shower, which somehow slows things down, so I end up back at 8 minutes apart.
10.30 pm: Hunny is getting really stressed and upset at me. He wants me to go to the hospital because the pains are really bad now, but I refuse, wanting them to get closer before we head off, determined not to be sent home again. We make a deal - agreeing to wait till after 12 midnight.

Sunday, 15 July:
12 midnight: I think, "If this isn't the real thing, I don't know what is." The pains are strong and quite unbearable now. We decide to head off to the hospital.
1 am: Arrive at hospital. Hunny does registration while I get undressed and get prepped (like have an enema, among other things). Nurse/midwife tells me my contractions are 5 minutes apart and I'm 1.5 cm dilated. I can't do much except nod at her in pain.
1.30 am: In the delivery room now. I grip hunny's hand real hard to get through the pains. No talking or joking now. I look blankly around for some pain relief but find none. Somehow the pain has dazed me so I'm unable to ask for pain relief. I figure it's too soon to ask for an epidural, so I grimly soldier on.
3 am: Midwife checks - I'm 2 cm dilated (only!) - I give up and request for an epidural. Gynae comes in. Breaks my waterbag in the middle of my contraction - the most traumatic experience of my life.
4 am: Epidural administered - bliss! I feel the contractions but not the pain - cool! I try to sleep but sleep doesn't come. Hunny snores gently in the chair beside me..
7 am: Cervical check - 5 cm dilated. Nurses joke that my baby doesn't want to see them, but wants to see the morning shift nurses instead, who take over at 7.30 am.
8 am: Doctor pops in - she's nicely dressed. Makes some comment about how she probably can make it to church and be back before my baby arrives. Not funny. But then she checks me and finds that I'm already there! Can start pushing now! I'm so not mentally ready, and I'm dead tired. Exhausted. I keep yawning. Pushing starts, with nurses yelling at me and I start to hyperventilate because I'm so so tired! I feel like sleeping in between contractions. Doctor turns off my epidural because she says I need to feel the pressure to push. Yikes!
9.02 am: Baby Cherise comes through - finally! It's surreal looking at her and thinking that she just came out from me.. I wonder vaguely what my tummy looks like now that she's out, but I'm too weak to move a muscle. Happy and exhausted.

Here are some photos from that day:

Machine to monitor my contractions and baby's heartbeat (note the hand gripping the side of the bed - that's mine):

Happiness after the epidural!

My beautiful baby!

Baby Cherise weighs 3.02 kg. You can see the moulding of her head here - this cone-shaped moulding is quite typical for a baby born face-up, apparantly. Babies born face-down go through a different sort of head moulding.

All bundled up!

My little Korean-looking baby...

Mother and baby back at the ward:

Proud daddy!

We're all back home now.. it's been a madhouse! But we're all adjusting - baby's settling in, and I'm even finding the time to blog. Will update more later!

More Baby Prep! Counting Down!

2007-07-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

We finally got baby's chinese name settled on yesterday. I confess it's something I haven't been putting much emphasis on. Yeah, yeah, roots and all that, but to be honest, I've never really cared for the language or the culture. Not when it was the source of so much torture throughout my schooling days...

I would have been quite happy if our daughter didn't have a chinese name. Better to not have one than to have one like mine, eh?? but hunny's quite a traditionalist.. *shrug*

We settled on the name qian ling which was kindly suggested by my sister. With help from Ade we managed to figure out the chinese characters. Then came the problem. What was the name in teochew? Baby's dialect name will be put down in her birth certificate, and we hadn't a clue what the teochew translation was. So we made a call to hunny's uncle - teochew expert! - the result was surprisingly pleasing. Loh Cheng Leng. Quite a nice ring to it, eh?

It only occurred to me later that night that baby's initials would be quite weird - CLCL. Hmmm. Those of you who already know what we've decided to name baby will know what the first C stands for. But we're still keeping the name rather private for now. It's something special to us, see. And I absolutely refuse to have other people making weird comments or insulting remarks about what we've decided to name our baby - which remains solely our and God's prerogative.

Maybe I'm being exceptionally prickly right now, but different people are starting to get on my nerves.

Don't tell me to pray more about my baby's name. Just because I don't want to tell you doesn't mean I haven't prayed or decided.
Don't touch my tummy, unless we're friends enough to swap phone numbers.
Don't touch my face.
Don't kick my new birkies. I love my birkies.

Sigh. I think I'm just bad-tempered at the moment. Better to stay at home and be a hermit for now. The waiting is taking its toll on me. But not long more, I console myself! We'll be seeing baby within the week!

Note: Hunny dreamed of baby the other day. He said she was really cute, with big eyes but not so much hair. Me? I hope baby has lots of hair. And is fat. Heh. Fat babies are cute. With hair. :)

Preparing for Bebe!

2007-07-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

This next project I actually started some time back, but couldn't finish it till today. It's a door ornament - frankly, I don't know what to call it, so I'm just going to call it a door ornament because it's meant to decorate the door of my baby's bedroom.

This project was scraplifted (aka: copied) from the Foof-a-Life book I bought. It's rather easy to do:

1. Get a metal tin cover.
2. Sand the inner and outer rims (so the paint will hold), and the "inside" - where the word "BEBE" is.
3. Paint inner and outer rims with 2 coats of acrylic paint, drying after each coat. Go for a third coat if necessary.
4. Decoupage patterned paper onto the "inside".
5. Cover all painted surfaces with decoupage medium. This is to seal the paint, so that it won't scratch off the metal.
6. Embellish with flowers, lace and glitzy letters.
7. Add ribbon and bead trim around the outer rim.

You're done! Easy eh? Well, easy if you can find bead trim in the stores. I couldn't find bead trim at Spotlight so I had to buy beads and sew (by hand) my own fringe of beads onto bias binding. It's tough working with beads! My hands seem so big and clumsy! But I love the sparkly effect they add to projects. I think I'm going to experiment working with beads more in the future.

Here's how it looks stuck on baby's room door:

My preggie friends - if you can find a metal tin cover like the one I used, I'll make one for you too! :)

Recipe Portfolio

2007-07-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

Here are some pics of a recipe portfolio I made for my sister's upcoming birthday. I actually finished this quite some time back but didn't want to post the pics because she hadn't seen it yet.

This is for her to store her recipes.. she's such a budding chef!

The inside of the portfolio:

The back:

I liked this portfolio a lot. I've got another plain one to alter, but I haven't the slightest idea what to do with it. Maybe my mojo will come back after I deliver! Ideas, anyone?

Red is the colour of defiance..

2007-07-06T05:12:00.000+08:00

Woke up today (Thurs) and just wanted to wallow in misery. Wanted to spend the whole day in bed moping. I nearly did, in fact. I managed to drag myself out of bed at 10.30 am, only to fall back into it half an hour later, wondering, "What's the point?"

But then I decided that I wouldn't give up. After a little chat with God, I got up and proceeded to do housework. Yup! Cleaning house is probably the best exercise I can do at this point. So I put on some good music (worship changes the atmosphere), washed some more baby clothes, cleaned up my study (not a small feat considering the mess I make while scrapping!), vacuumed the baby's cot, folded the clothes, dusted furniture, cleaned the microwave and ironed a whole basketful of clothes.

Ankles and feet were really swollen after that! But I look at my feet and I think, "Red is the colour of defiance!" I love my painted toenails. Never had a pedicure prior to yesterday (Wed), so I chose to have them painted really red for my first time. My dad says they are ah lian but I don't care! Red is the colour of defiance!

Now I'm up at 5 am in the morning (Fri). Couldn't sleep because tummy was getting too crampy. Now, before you get all excited, my tummy gets crampy every night. Every morning the cramps disappear. So. Decided that I wouldn't try to force myself to go back to sleep, so I went prowling around my newly cleaned house. Found this:

Yummy chocolate-covered marshmallows that my sister brought back from Perth. Yay! Happy food. After all, it's a leetle bit easier to stay positive with chocolate in your system. Heh.

Cry

2007-07-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

I just found this on the internet:

'Optimal Foetal Positioning' (OFP) is a theory developed by a midwife, Jean Sutton, and Pauline Scott, an antenatal teacher, who found that the mother's position and movement could influence the way her baby lay in the womb in the final weeks of pregnancy. Many difficult labours result from 'malpresentation', where the baby's position makes it hard for the head to move through the pelvis, so changing the way the baby lies could make birth easier for mother and child.

The 'occiput anterior' position is ideal for birth - it means that the baby is lined up so as to fit through your pelvis as easily as possible. The baby is head down, facing your back, with his back on one side of the front of your tummy. In this position, the baby's head is easily 'flexed', ie his chin tucked onto his chest, so that the smallest part of his head will be applied to the cervix first. The diameter of his head which has to fit through the pelvis is approximately 9.5 cm, and the circumference approximately 27.5cm. The position is usually 'Left Occiput Anterior' or LOA - occasionally the baby may be Right Occiput Anterior or ROA.

The 'occiput posterior' (OP) position is not so good. This means the baby is still head down, but facing your tummy. Mothers of babies in the 'posterior' position are more likely to have long and painful labours as the baby usually has to turn all the way round to facing the back in order to be born. He cannot fully flex his head in this position, and diameter of his head which has to enter the pelvis is approximately 11.5cm, circumference 35.5cm.

If your baby is in the occiput posterior position in late pregnancy, he may not engage (descend into the pelvis) before labour starts. The fact that they don't engage means that it's harder for labour to start naturally, so they are more likely to be 'late'. Braxton-Hicks contractions before labour starts may be especially painful, with lots of pressure on the bladder, as the baby tries to rotate while it is entering the pelvis. Be aware that if you accept induction on the basis of being postdates, and your baby is in a suboptimal position, you may have a tough haul ahead of you.

[Taken from http://www.homebirth.org.uk/ofp.htm]

Why why why? I've been trying to do all the right things - I hardly lean back when I sit (because it hurts my tailbone); I sleep on my side, not on my back; I scrubbed floors on all fours up till about a month back..

It just makes me want to cry.

Why can't I be normal?

2007-07-04T17:54:00.000+08:00

It's like everything I've been praying against is coming true.

2 days to 39 weeks, and

my cervix is still closed
baby's head is still high
baby's in the dreaded occiput posterior position (spine against my spine)

I asked my gynae if I could be induced today. We bargained. She said Monday if my cervix was open. It wasn't. So she won't, because there's a high chance I'll end up with a C-section if I'm induced when the cervix is closed.

I have this sinking feeling that my cervix is never going to open in time, and I'm going to have to be induced, and because it won't open, I'll end up with a C-section anyway.

Just like my mom.

Failure to progress.

Failure.

Big fat failure.

Why can't I be normal?

Why can't I, just for this once, be normal like other women?

I got a manicure and pedicure today to cheer me up. It didn't work. Because it's probably a subconscious throwing in of the towel. You see, they take off the nail polish when you deliver - I knew that, but I didn't care anyway.

I think I'm giving up. It's so hard to persevere when you feel like a big fat failure.

An Inspiring Read

2007-06-30T04:16:00.000+08:00

The Foof-a-Life:

When I first saw this book on sale, I knew I had to have it. It's a treasure trove of ideas for those who love pretty, vintagey projects. Imagine - page after page of beautiful projects that are easy and fun to create! It's been a wonderful, inspiring read for me so far, and I've learnt plenty from its pages.

Let's see, I've learnt not to be afraid of working with metal. Previously, I used to avoid working (painting/altering) on metal because I didn't know if the paint/glue would hold. But while experimenting with some easy projects, I found that I do love working on metal - the paint finds its purchase once you sand the metal, and finishing it with a decoupage medium gives it a glossy sheen. Fun!

I've also learnt how to make use of different fabrics in my projects - moving away from using lots of paper, and playing around with stuff like lace, velvet, ric rac and tulle (netting).

I love the result - my projects look pretty and girly. Here's a bit of what I've done so far - I've got a couple more projects which are still Work In Progress, so I won't post the pics up here just yet..

Here are two fridge magnets which I made from a small tin (those tins containing keychains that you commonly receive as wedding favours). I painted the rims of the tins, decoupaged patterned paper, and embellished with prima flowers and sequins, as well as some tulle and ribbon.

You can't see it in this photo, but the sequins I placed around the inner rim of the tin have a lovely and rather unexpected effect - they reflect the light from the surroundings onto the flower in the middle, so the flower seems to shine!

The flower in this magnet isn't glued down - so when you shake the whole thing, the flower jiggles along. The tulle keeps it together.

This next project is a floral cone that I made for a friend whose birthday is coming up. (Eh, if you think you know who the birthday girl is, please help to keep this a surprise - I don't think she reads my blog. Heh.)

The original version of this project in the Foof-a-Life book is more subdued and vintagey, but I decided to go for a bit more glitz and colour. Most of the stuff I used came from Spotlight - my new favourite store! I love this glitter butterfly I found there..

In case you're thinking that this is just a simple buy-and-assemble project, let me reassure you that making the cone itself nearly frustrated me to the point of giving up. I decoupaged the cardboard with different patterned papers, then had to roll and glue it so that it became a cone, and then the cone threatened to fall apart..... but well, I just love the end result. Everything about it - from the tulle and sequins on the painted heart, the blooms and the butterfly, to the lace and velvet on the cone - appeals to me. I like this so much, I want to make another one for our home - except that I always have trouble doing the same project twice. Somehow the mojo disappears after the first one, you know what I mean? It's like I expend all my creativity (for that project) and then it's gone. And if I want to make another similar one, I have no ideas whatsoever.

If you're looking for ideas for projects, I strongly recommend you get the Foof-a-Life. It's a great book. I can't wait to get started on my next project - that's if baby allows it though! (But I think I still have time. Doctor said cervix still closed...)

Are phones allowed in labour wards?

2007-06-27T15:07:00.000+08:00

I get insanely angry when nincompoops from Hunny's workplace call him and engage him in lengthy conversations about work when he's on leave. I mean, the guy's on leave, that's L-E-A-V-E, and he's already told you so, so why don't you just call someone else? Someone who's actually at the office, perhaps?!!! People take leave for a reason, you know. People don't take leave to sit around at home and wait for phone calls from work.

For Hunny's sake, I sincerely hope that mobile phones are prohibited in hospital delivery rooms. Because should he receive a call from work while I'm in labour, I guarantee you that one of two things will happen:

1. I will take the phone from his hands and yell, "He's on leave and I'm his wife and I'm in labour so why don't you get off the phone you *&$#@@@**!" Pardon my french.
2. I will take the phone from his hands and hurl it across the room with a strength born of rage and pain.

But I don't really blame his colleagues, the poor sods. After all, they're merely acting in accordance with a culture that's so ingrained into Hunny's workplace, or should I generalise and say, the whole SAF. It's common knowledge that it's tough being a soldier's wife, isn't it? But perhaps that should change. We military wives have been treated dismally for way, way too long.

I'm sick and tired of all the hours that Hunny spends away from me organising some mess event - an event that I, as his spouse, am not even invited to. Because it's not allowed.

I'm angry at the way his request for 3 weeks' leave (after I deliver) was rejected summarily, with his idiotic superior concluding, "It's not that tough, I'm a father, I've done it before," or some similar-sounding crap. And my husband is the same guy who works so hard he accumulated 20 over days of Off-In-Lieus (he gets one for every night duty he pulls) - that's an entire month's leave on top of his yearly entitlement. And did I mention that Hunny's still got leave accruing to him from last year???

I'm still mad at how he got posted away to Darwin for a whole month just a few short months after we got married.

It's gone on long enough. The Singapore Armed Forces are stupidly short-sighted if they do not improve the state of welfare for soldiers and their families. Think about it - give a soldier something to fight for, and you turn him into a warrior. What do men fight for? Forget the fame, glory, country blah blah blah. Please. Most Singaporean men sign on as regulars because it's a career. But men will fight for their families, their homes and their women. It's been like that throughout the ages. So stop doing things that strain familial ties, stop straining marriages with sucky welfare and lousy work hours, build up those families, and you'll get dedicated soldiers - warriors - in wartime.

It's no wonder that the Armed Forces are facing serious manpower shortages. Why, if things get too bad, I'll simply start putting pressure on my husband to leave the Air Force too. You see, you gotta realise - while our men take and give orders in the rank and file, it's really we - military wives - who call the shots.

My Prize

2007-06-27T00:33:00.001+08:00

As promised - here's a picture of the prize I won in the online challenge I participated in.

It's an album - 8 x 8 inches. Comes with embellishments like ribbon and stickers, and a whole stack of paper, all pre cut to size! It's going to be so fun working on this album - only thing is, what should I scrap??? This album kit is journey-themed: think travel and road trip. But I don't have any road trip photos (because I've never been on a road trip!) and with baby arriving soon, it'll be a while before this family is able to go on vacation....

This always seems to be my problem, eh? Not enough photos!

Carnival Pics!

2007-06-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

Here are some pics from our church's carnival (held on Saturday, 23rd June) -

My henna tattoo! Got this done at the carnival for only $3! Hunny is mean - he keeps saying it looks like a snail. It's a swan!

Here are the clipboards that I made for the carnival.. Managed to sell all but 6. :)

Ooh and check out these lovelies which I bought for myself.. Pretty bling!

I enjoyed myself immensely at the carnival - the atmosphere was lively and infectious, and I got caught up in all the noise and excitement. It was great fun selling stuff (our stall sold chilli, lemonade, even plants, among other things). I think next year I want to set up a stall for my crafts - maybe sell some altered tins and boxes, glass jars, even photo mementos done on the spot - bring my camera and my portable printer down so I can take and print photos of people...

Haha! Lots of ideas!

Fatigue and other things...

2007-06-26T11:40:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates here lately.. it's just that I've been so terribly exhausted these past few days. This last bit of pregnancy is really wearing me down - my butt hurts still and I'm tired all the time.

I don't wish to sound weak, but there's really little else I want to do besides sleep and eat.

Maybe it's the old iron deficiency problem again. I went for my (now) weekly checkup at the doc's last Wednesday, and my blood test indicated that my haemoglobin count hadn't gone up at all (from its previously low levels). :( and of course Hunny had to baotoh me to the doctor, telling her that I hadn't been eating my iron pills. *sulkmuttergrumble*

But I'm paying for it now. So so tired. I can't scrap for long because after ten minutes or so, my arms start to ache like I've been lifting heavy weights. I can't walk/stand for long because after a while, my legs start aching like I've just run up a steep hill. My heart races after some slight exertion - and by slight exertion, I mean stuff like turning over to get out of bed.

And the cramps - ever so often my tummy will bunch up and tighten and I'll think, "Practice or for real?" Part of me desperately hopes they are for real, but it's been nothing but rehearsals so far.

It's almost noon now. I woke up at 9.30 this morning, had breakfast and did some scrapping. And now, I'm in bed again, blogging and getting sleepier by the minute. Oh and by the way, I'm hungry again.

A piggy. Yes, that's what I am. Piggy. Piggy carrying a little piggy.

My favourite album..

2007-06-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

I went for a special scrap class yesterday. It was hosted by MWL like all the other classes I've attended, but this was different because the attendees were all members of a scrapping forum which I joined. It was fun being able to match names/nicks to the different faces, and we had a whale of a time making lots of noise and harassing our poor teacher, whom we affectionately called "Zher".

We didn't manage to complete much in the class (think we dilly-dallied and made too much of a ruckus to be productive!) but I did learn a lot and here's the completed project:

It's a gorgeous transparency album - transparency because the pages (some, not all) are made from Hambly transparency overlays (printed transparencies specially for scrapping). It's really pretty, but not easy to do, because the pages are transparent, so whatever you put behind one page is visible, and a fair bit of layout/placement planning is necessary. You don't want to put something behind your front page that clashes with your title, for example.

I love bling! The shiny, jewelly stuff..

My favourite page in the album! The teacher for the class gave us this design tip - using the Zutter Bind-it-All machine, punch holes and thread ribbon through for a "corsety" effect. Then slip your photo in! The ribbon can also hold charms etc. And I'm so happy I found the perfect photo for this page..

This is also something else we were taught in class. This page holds a three-fold sheet. You can choose to do journalling on the three panels, but I chose to insert photos.

I used magnetic snaps to hold the sheet closed. You can see how it opens up in the pic below:

Another nice page - I really like those new flowers I bought. (Yo sis! If you can't find scrap stuff to buy back for me, buy flowers! I lurve!) The two round metal things on the left of the photo are the magnetic snaps I used for the previous page.

In this next pic, see the flower and shiny bits below the transparent panel on the left? That's what I mean by placement planning - you've got to plan so that you don't see something distracting through the transparency, but it'll look nice if some embellishments (like flowers and shiny bits) show through so they look like decoration for that particular page itself.

The last page of the album! This transparency is tied to the back cover (dark brown cardstock) by the many ribbons you see on the right.

I love this album to bits. Love the concept, love the theme.... I think the class teacher cum creator of this album design is so so talented. I realise I still have a long way to go in terms of being innovative and truly creative, but for now, imitation is the best way to learn!

This album is so seriously pretty I've bought material for another two similar ones - one in black and the other in silver. I'm planning to do up an album for Ad's promotion ceremony and another one for my preggie pictures. Now, all I need are the photos.....!

[My apologies for the many many photos - actually there are more pages to the album, I just didn't post them here. Too many pics! :)]

Results Results!

2007-06-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

I was having some problems with the server so I only just found out - yes, I won! I was the second to post my layout online, so I'm one of the two grand prize winners! I'll be getting my prize on Monday - will show you what I've won! An album, I think - can't remember! :)

Getting Ready!

2007-06-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

Baby preparations are complete! Well, almost - being a first-time mom, I'm quite sure there are things I forgot.

But here's a sneak peek -

Our baby's cot:

And her hippo!

It all suddenly seems so real to look at the cot all done up, sitting in the corner of our room. Before long, we'll have a sweet baby lying there in that very cot - it's so hard to imagine what life will be like then. But I do know - I'm looking forward to have member number 3 join our family! Excited!

The Grand Finale

2007-06-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

For the last day of the online scrap challenge that I've been participating in, contestants had to fulfil the following:

Final Challenge :- HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH ???

Sick of the clean and simple look ? Challenge yourself to see how much stuff you can put into your layout. I want you to use your scraps and create a layout using the following stuff : -

2 Techniques ( ie :-inking, stamping, paints, distressing, punching, die-cutting, tearing, corner rounder.)
4 Metal accents
6 Stickers
8 ribbons
10 different pattern papers
12 flowers
14 Brads or Eyelets or Snaps
16 Chipboard pieces ( can be alphas or accents)
18 buttons
20 words of journalling

Crazy eh??

But I did it!

Here's my layout:

Click on the pictures for a larger view - see if you can figure out where everything is!

It looks like I'm one of the two winners of this race (the two grand prize winners are the first two who posted their completed layouts - I'm one of them. However, I might still lose if the judge deems that I've not met the above requirements). Official results of the race will only be up in ten hours... I'll post back to let you know if I've won!

On a side note, heartiest congratulations to my friend and cell leader, Ivy, who's given birth to a bouncing baby boy! I'm a bit stressed now because her due date was calculated to be ten days before mine. So since she's popped now, does it mean it'll be my turn ten days later???????

*frazzled*

RBW

2007-06-19T06:37:00.000+08:00

RBW - red, black and white.

According to Mead Johnson (makers of Enfa baby formula), "a newborn baby's eyes perceive these high-contrast colours better than any other colour."

Well, I like the RBW combi too. Just scrapped this for the online challenge:

This was a rather tedious layout. Lots of stitching by hand. Got poked by the needle a couple of times. The instructions were to scrap a layout with only black, white and one other colour accent.

Ad really likes this layout. I think it's not too girly, not like what I usually do.

A random thought - I think the photo in the layout looks like it came from some advert. :)

Still Scrapping

2007-06-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

Despite my earlier upset, I still managed to churn this out for the online challenge..

Went for a distressed look, so I sanded the photos and papers, crumpled and inked the papers, hammered the metal.. Ad's conclusion? "Very rugged."

Was really fun doing this - it's therapeutic to just stick stuff wherever you think it looks good and watch the layout evolve as you go along. I like the theme too - I actually printed out these photos quite some time back, but just couldn't figure out what to do with them until today.

I don't know how to pay

2007-06-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

If I were guilty of all that you accused me of, why did I

- call you purposely to warn you about the scam
- apologise repeatedly for my uncertainty regarding the translation
- ask you repeatedly to check the address because I wasn't sure
- remind you repeatedly to pass the message along
- repeat important parts of the message like the time to be there
- ask you so many times if you managed to take down the message
- explain to you so many times that I was busy and why

You say I was abrupt. It seems to me that I was pretty damn cheong hei.

If I didn't want to talk to you, would I have called you?

If I were disrespectful would I bother to ask if you got the message ok?

If I were rude would I bother to express concern that you might get cheated?

Eh, I really don't know what you want from me.

Everybody's love comes at a price.

For yours, I really don't know how to pay.

Thank You For Spoiling My Day

2007-06-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

You spoilt my day you know that?

I'm so irritated, so frustrated because of you.

You with your nonsensical fancies.

Grow up! Go out and meet more people. Learn what the real world is like!

People mellow as they age... you never changed.

Learn!
You're not always right!
The world doesn't revolve around you!
Take that plank out of your own eye!
Compare compare - what's there to compare? Grow up!

Please - a bit more stability, a bit more common sense, a bit more reality from you can?

You win ok? You had a lousy day (probably) and now I'm having one too. Thanks a mil.

Questions with No Answers

2007-06-16T15:59:00.000+08:00

What have I done to deserve this?

Why do you have to make it so difficult? Complicated.

If I say I wasn't I didn't I hadn't, why won't you believe me?

Are you having a bad day?

Don't just call me and vent to me on the phone. Please. Think first can? Think about the words I spoke. Think about the care, the concern, the worry I felt. All that means nothing is it?

You leave me confused, bewildered.

And with a headache. In addition to the many other pains I have.

Is this what you wanted?

All my life I've been like your punching bag of sorts. Bad mood? Take it out on her. It's ok. Holler at her. Say sorry later. Feeling blue? It's all her fault. Go call her and scold her.

Don't pull your emotional blackmail stunt on me - I'm way too old for that already. Or maybe, that trick is just too old.

I'm tired ok? Right now, at this point in time, I have very little patience to put up with difficult people. If you choose to be upset, then stay upset. I've said what I have to say, you go figure it out yourself. I really don't have the time nor energy to coax you out of your blue funk. Not my style anyway.

In need of cheering up..

2007-06-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

I had a mini meltdown today.

I've been sick for so long, coughing and coughing and I can't seem to get any better. I've finished the medication the gynae gave me (a really scary bottle which had the word "Poison" all over its box) and I'm still coughing. And now, it's worse. See, for a while now, every time I cough, my tailbone hurts. I don't know why. Pressure from the baby, maybe? Usually, the pain goes away once I'm done coughing, so I ignore it. Anyway, I coughed so much and so badly yesterday night, my tailbone area hurts so so bad, I can't walk today. Can't sit. Can't lie down. Can't get up from a chair/bed. Can't move, can't cough without pain. (How do you stop yourself from coughing?) And it's not just a little pain. It's excruciating. A sharp shooting kind of pain. I've taken a panadol but it's useless against the pain.

I don't mean to whine, but the pain is just so bad.

I asked Hunny just now if we could talk to the gynae and have baby come out next week. After all, 37 weeks is full term, isn't it? Hunny said no - it's the only sensible reply, really, since I was being ridiculous, but I felt so sorry for myself, I couldn't stop the tears.

I remember once reading a post in a forum for preggies. The post was titled, "Get this baby out of me!" or something like that. The author was full term and looking for natural ways to induce labour. Needless to say, the author got flamed real bad. Lots of other women responded to her post, saying that she should not try to hurry things, but that the baby would come out when he/she was ready.

I tell you - today, I totally understand the author's point of view.

My mood's coming through in my scrapping too. Here's the latest I did. I scrapped this layout for an online challenge. The requirements were: no cardstock to be used, and the layout had to be about myself. It's amazing how what's in your subconscious winds its way into your hands... (and in case you were thinking that this was pain-induced, let me emphasize that this was done prior to the onset of the pain)

It's titled, Remember Me This Way:

A printed transparency overlays the photo and journalling. This flower embellishment acts as a tab/page turner.

I used the Zutter tool to punch holes and threaded ribbon through them to hold the page and transparency together.

The best part? The journalling says it all. Reflects the mood I'm feeling.

if I were to
leave you
never to return
would you
remember me
this way?

loving wife
joyous mother to be
filial daughter
caring sister
passionate child of God
cherished friend
cheerful singer
whimsical scrapper

bringer of
love and
laughter to
those around
me?

Clipboard Factory!

2007-06-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

Here are my clipboards!

I didn't expect to be able to progress so quickly. But there's a certain rhythm you get into after a while. These aren't exactly finished though - still have to add ribbon and whatnot. Plus I haven't sealed the backs with mod podge yet.

Ad's going to help me choose funky names for each clipboard. That will be fun! I hope he doesn't come up with names like Blue Flower on Orange Tatami Mat! Hahahah! [Sorry hun, shouldn't laugh at you.]

So, which ones do you like? Let me know so I can gauge which designs are more popular. :)

[Click on the images to see bigger versions. There are just too many for me to take individual shots. :)]

Crazy About Clipboards

2007-06-11T14:59:00.000+08:00

Here are some more clipboards I've been working on:

This one is for Miss Ho - for the fashionista in you! The paper I used is by Imagination Project - their new collection called Fashionista. When I saw it, I just knew it was meant for you. :)

It's not yet done though. I've yet to put on the embellishments.

And this is for my mother (also not completed):

Two rather different styles, eh? One modern and sassy and the other one more vintagey.

Well, I can't seem to stay away from clipboards - they are so fun to alter! The mod podge part gets me all messy (that's not the fun bit) but altering clipboards really challenges me in terms of matching papers and coming up with interesting designs. It's not just sticking pieces of paper down - I plan each design right down to the colour of the ribbon that will end up on the clip.

Now, somehow, through a series of different people talking to me, I've been persuaded to make more clipboards for charity. My church, Trinity Christian Centre, is having a carnival on the 23rd of June. And I'm making more clipboards for sale. I've got a minimum of 15 clipboards to complete and I'm all set to go! I'll try to upload pics as I go along - if you like any you see, do head down to our bazaar and pick them up!

Oh, and on a side note, here's a new machine that I bought yesterday:

It's called the Zutter Bind-it-All. What it does is bind pieces of paper together. This means you'll be seeing a lot more altered notebooks, mini-albums and journals. I'll never have to buy another notebook again! (*ahem* - that's me trying to justify the cost of the machine...)

Pregnant Princess

2007-06-11T08:28:00.000+08:00

Hey, Outsider.

Yes, you. All of you who have never gone through pregnancy, you're the Outsiders.

Let me try to explain to you what it is I go through each day.

I'm 12 kg heavier than I used to be. And it shows. Looking in the mirror sometimes can get depressing - but I encourage myself that most of this extra weight is useful to my baby (yes, even the weight I carry around my thickened thighs and arms).

But imagine - being 12 kg heavier, with a large portion of the weight carried in front, makes walking difficult. My centre of gravity gets thrown off. I perpetually feel clumsy. I can no longer squeeze myself through small spaces - unfortunately, I tend to forget this.

And, like my mother so enjoys saying, I no longer walk. I waddle.

Bending to pick something up is a tedious affair. Even putting on a pair of pants is now a difficult task to do standing up. Imagine trying to get your legs into the leg holes while standing up, without being able to bend at the waist properly. Yes, why don't you try it?

I sometimes wish I could strap a belly on you. I don't mean any malice, I just want you to be able to understand at least a small portion of what I go through. You see, pregnancy is like nothing you ever imagined. Nothing. No one prepared me for the clumsiness, the sheer effort it takes to carry this weight, the heaviness you live with day in and day out.

I haven't been complaining so far. I've tried to approach this whole pregnancy as a new experience - something to be relished and cherished, even the not-so-nice parts. And I've also tried to continue doing as much as I normally would. A lot of people have been horrified at my level of "activity". I'm not being unsafe, I just don't feel that I should spend all my time resting just because I'm pregnant. Doesn't give me a free pass to laze around all day.

But maybe all that should change right now. You see, it seems you've forgotten that I'm actually pregnant - 35 weeks pregnant. Maybe it's because I've always gamely tried my best to keep up, even when it takes such a physical toll on me.

Here are some reminders for you:
Pregnancy is a dynamic process. It doesn't stay the same from start to finish. Neither do I. Just because I could do something a few weeks earlier doesn't mean i can still do it now.
Just because I'm able to do a particular task doesn't mean that it's easy for me.

But the best reminder that I can give you is this: no more. I mean, no more activity for me. All that I find the least bit tiring to do, I shall not do anymore. Everyone's been expecting me to take things easy from the start, so I'm really going to go all out to pamper myself now. After all, I only have about 4 weeks to go. If I'm not going to relax now, then when?

If I feel tired, I will say so. Loudly.
If it is hard for me to do something, I will impose on you to do it for me.
If I don't feel like doing something, I will say so.

I think it's time I started behaving in a way corresponding to my condition. Heavily pregnant, that is. Then maybe, you, all you Outsiders, would start treating me as if I were. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and start demanding less from me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and be a bit more patient with me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and start treating me with care - care in the way you speak to me, gentleness in the way you handle me. Maybe you'd now remember my condition and ask me to walk less, walk slower, carry less. Maybe offer your hand in support. Or pick things up for me. Fetch things for me instead of me fetching them myself.

If I acted like a princess, would you treat me like one?

It's Up!

2007-06-09T01:58:00.001+08:00

Here is the link for the items made during the charity crop:

It's quite exciting really, to have something I made go up for auction. Lots of thoughts go through my mind.

Oh no, what if nobody likes my stuff?
You mean they're willing to pay that much?
Man, I can't afford to buy my own work...

Remember - it's all for charity! 100% of proceeds go to CARE Singapore.

Christmas Comes Early!

2007-06-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

Well, no. It's not actually Christmas. It's just the Great Singapore Sale!!!

It's a dream come true! Here's the Canon Selphy photo printer I wanted..

And a gorgeous scrap tote for me to use when I need to lug my supplies to a class or crop.

It's got plenty of pockets to put stuff in:

And a plastic folder to carry 12'' x 12" cardstock and patterned paper:

Look, it's even got my name on it! (Well, my uni friends call me Mimi.) Now, all I need is a crop/class to go to!

But the best thing bought so far during the GSS:

Now, I can snap beautiful photos, print them speedily and scrap in style!

Sigh.. I'm happy.

CCC - Charity Crop Clipboards!

2007-06-06T03:28:00.000+08:00

I felt a bit better today so decided to head down to MWL for the last day of the charity crop - and I'm so glad I went.

We altered clipboards today. It was a productive day for me, I managed to do 4 clipboards! Here are the pics:

I think I much prefer doing clipboards than cards... All in all, a very therapeutic crop session today.

One more thing, I've got a surprise up my sleeve... not telling you just yet!

A Breather

2007-06-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

As much as I like to be busy, my body feels otherwise.

Sick today. Again. *coughcoughsniffle*

I think perhaps I've been working too hard and sleeping too little over the past few days.

So I'm resting at home today. A hard decision to make - the charity crop's still going on, and today, we're supposed to be decorating photo frames. But it's time for me to take a rest. Lie in bed. Play with baby. Fall asleep to daytime TV. Eat well for dinner and have ice cream for dessert.

Yup, I think it's time for a breather.

Happy Scrappy Days!

2007-06-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy girl. My days are full of activity - activity that I like. I've got so many projects lined up for me, I feel so busy! But it's a good kind of busy-ness. Happy busy-ness.

I count myself blessed that I have the opportunity to fill my days with things I like to do.

Here's something I made from the little Love, Elsie Make N Take kits they were giving out at the store. It's a fridge magnet. Quite small and cute actually.

I would have posted this up last night if not for the fact that I saw a huge moth in the kitchen. The moth was really huge. Larger than my palm! And since the fridge magnet was on the fridge in the kitchen, I couldn't go in and get a proper photo.

Anyway, I've got one more Make N Take kit. Will probably make another fridge magnet with this one. In the meantime, I'm busy working on cards for the charity crop going on over these 3 days. Busy busy! Making cards is tough. I worked for 6 hours today at the scrap lab and only produced 3 cards!! So I brought some paper home to make more cards. Here's what I accomplished earlier today:

I'm quite happy with my first attempt at card-making. In fact, I think all of us at the crop today did really well. Do support us and our work by bidding on ebay for the cards when they go up for auction! It's for a good cause! I'll post the link as soon as it goes up.

Scrapamania!

2007-06-01T12:05:00.000+08:00

Ad and I visited the MWL store yesterday. I wanted to pick up some self-inking stamps, but when I got there, I found that they hadn't been launched yet. So, for the first time, I visited the store and came out with nothing!

Well, maybe not nothing. Somehow, Ad got really inspired while at the store. In the middle of our tea there (yes, we shared a terribly sinful cupcake), all of a sudden he turned to me and said he wanted to go home and scrap! I thought, "Okaaaaay," a bit skeptical that he would actually get down to business. You see, I've observed, on many occasions, that Ad gets really motivated to scrap at the store. Maybe it's all the paper and tools you get to see at the store. So, most times he buys a lot of paper, but the sheets just stay in my paper tray and never get used.

Until yesterday. This is the result of hours of hunny's hard work, and I must say, I'm really very impressed.

Ad's got a natural sense of colour. He instinctively knows which colours look good together - and he's got this uncanny knack for picking out great patterned paper. The funny thing about him is that his sense of colour coordination doesn't quite extend to his clothing. Haha.

Anyway, in case you think I was slacking while Ad was toiling away, here's what I made:

It's a box made of chipboard. Maya Road makes these fabulous projects kits that you can buy and do whatever you want with them. I covered this box with paper and added some ribbon and plasticky, semi-translucent flowers. I like the flowers. They can spin around like little windmills.

Inside the box are cards (originally just pieces of cardboard) strung together on a ball chain - so the box actually is a mini-album of sorts.

Check out the "pages"... yes, sister dear, this project is for you!

I covered the cards on both sides to maximise the number of photos this little album could hold.

For this project, I used mainly papers and stickers from Love, Elsie. These are so, so gorgeous - I'm so tempted to make an online order for the entire collection. I think they are my favourite at the moment (previously was Scenic Route papers - also very quaint and quirky). Another product which I experimented with in this project was Ranger's Sepia Accents - a 3-dimensional adhesive with a sepia colouring. Very cool. I love this product.

I'll be uploading more detailed shots of the pages into my Flickr scrap album, but not just yet. I'm still a bit tired from all that effort last night, so I just need to sleep sleep sleep today.

It took hours, but I really enjoyed making this mini-album. I think my scrapping supplies have hit "critical mass" - meaning that I now have enough supplies at home to have a certain measure of creative freedom. Sometimes, it's hard to scrap when you just don't have enough stuff - you get limited by what you have. What contributed most, however, to the "success" of this project (and I don't just mean the product, I mean the journey), is the fact that I was scrapping for someone I love. Like I told Ad, if you don't like the subject, your scrapwork just isn't going to be nice.

So, little sister, I love you.

SomethinGood and SomethingFun!

2007-05-31T19:07:00.000+08:00

Check this out!

So exciting. Finally, my scrapping skills (whatever few I have) will be put to good use. It's been fun scrapping and making pretty stuff, but to help raise funds for charity - now, that's something else!

Do lend your support! I'll update here when I find out more details.

Wrong Side of Bed

2007-05-30T15:06:00.001+08:00

Some days you wake up and you just don't feel good.

I'm having one of those days.

Dream after unpleasant dream - I'm left with a vaguely disconnected feel this afternoon. My mind's here, yet somewhere else, still pondering over the imponderables I dreamt about.

I dreamt I was breastfeeding my new baby, and it was so so hard.

Then I dreamt that I was sleeping and dreaming and I woke up crying [still in my dream] and hunny comforted me. But when I woke up in real life, I was alone in bed and tears had crusted around my eyes. I don't know what I dreamt and cried over.

I dreamt of Donald Trump [of all people].

I dreamt of hunny going through a crisis and confiding his innermost fears to me - via msn.

I dreamt of my cousins - they were using old-fashioned typewriters.

I dreamt too of people in the past - a solitary figure from some distant, filed-away memory. I don't know why.

Why can't we dream of pleasant, uncomplicated things all the time - like donuts and ice cream and waffles?

Latest and Greatest (Fun, that is!)

2007-05-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hunny was so sweet and allowed me to go for a scrapping workshop yesterday. It was a project workshop, meaning that we worked on a project during the 3 hours. I like project workshops, because we get something nice to take home at the end of the day.

Here's what I came back with:

Cool eh? It's my favourite item at the moment. I don't think I've ever worked on anything this fun before. It's an accordion album, with pockets to put "pages" in. Here are the pages:

Some close up views of the accordion album:

I'm so glad I went for the workshop. Besides giving me something to do, I came away with tons of great ideas for plenty of other projects. Stay tuned for more fun items!

For You

2007-05-27T21:55:00.001+08:00

Life's not easy, isn't it? Just when we think that maybe, just maybe, this time it'll be alright, life throws us a curve.

But whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You gotta believe that.

This is for you. I don't know when we'll next meet, but in the meantime, I'll just hold this for you.

You're not alone. See your friends who hedge you all around - no, we can't keep you from getting bruised by life, but we can be there to help you when things get rough.

You're not alone.

Inspiration

2007-05-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I scrapped anything. Thing is, I can't scrap unless I have a story. And the story comes from a photo. I've quite run out of photos. I've done so many of family, and of my wedding - there just isn't any story left untold.

But while I was clearing out my study room cabinets, I happened upon a photo of Ad when he was twelve. Perfect! Here was a story that hadn't been told. Here was some fresh material that I could work with - finally, something that moved me enough to inspire me.

It's simpler than some pages I've done, but it took sweat, blood and tears. Honest. Sweat because the night was warm and I was too caught up to remember to turn on the airconditioning. Tears from my tired eyes as I scrapped through the night, only ending at 5:36 in the morning. And blood because I was so sleepy I drove the business end of this tool into my thumb.

But it was good fun. Unfortunately, I've run out of photos again. I guess I'll just store up all my ideas and supplies for the arrival of our little princess. July! Can't wait!

Baby Update!

2007-05-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

I went to the gynae today. Heard those dreaded words - "Wah, you put on so much weight ah?"

*sob*

It's all water I tell you. Yep. Water retention. Gotta be water retention.

On the other hand, baby was estimated to weigh 2 kg! Gynae said that was a good size. Led to mild panic - "Good size? Is the baby too big?"

Baby last weighed in at 1.4 kg. That was 2 weeks ago. Our little girl is growing fast! I think she likes burgers. And fries. And ice cream.

*grin*

Some Updates

2007-05-18T14:06:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a while. Been on a sort of break, I guess. Nothing much has been happening in my life and my days are mundane and restful. There's a kind of peace to be had in mundane-ness after all.

I turned 27 yesterday. Whoo-hoo! It should have been a grand event, but birthdays are no longer fun. Too many candles on the cake now. I'm now firmly in the realm of the late twentysomethings.

Yesterday also happened to be one of the worst days of my pregnancy. I've been sick for a few days now, and being sick during pregnancy is no joke - you don't get to take the medications that make you feel better. So I suffered through a horrid runny nose, bad coughing, a sore throat that hurt every time I yawned (which is often), clammy hands and feet, nausea and loss of appetite, and to top it off, mysterious abdominal twinges which appeared and disappeared at whim.

I'm getting more antsy, I suppose. I'm at 32 weeks now, and theoretically, the baby will be full-term in just another 5 weeks. I feel like I should get something done to commemorate this period. Some mothers-to-be pay money to get their photos taken professionally in a studio, and for a while, I toyed with that idea, but then, the rest of me is so round (not just my tummy) I know I won't like looking at those photos.

Hunny brought me to BlooiE's for dinner the day before. It was to celebrate him passing his basic theory test. I'm so proud of him! It was fun eating at BlooiE's. Very pub-like place, without the unhealthy smoke and all. There was a pool table and I really wanted to play, but the thought of attracting too much attention stopped me. After all, you can't bend at the waist very well when your tummy's so round.. Ah well, just two more months, I keep reminding myself.

I'm lying on the bed typing out this post at the moment. My laptop is resting on my tummy and baby's having a fun time bouncing it up and down with her kicks. She's a strong one, she is. I really can't wait to see her. I wonder who she'll look like.

My Sacrifice

2007-04-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

I've heard it said so many times: motherhood's all about making sacrifices.

Here's what I gave up -

Yup. Goodbye long hair. Hello baby!

Surreal

2007-04-28T14:39:00.000+08:00

Surreal and suspended. Yes, that's how I feel.

I looked at my husband yesterday, and he seemed like a stranger to me.

A call from an old classmate, and suddenly I was back in junior college.

Blow-drying my hair, it feels like I'm in Perth with my dearest sister again.

The house is empty and silent, and it takes me back to those lonely, stressful days when hunny was in Darwin.

I'm living here and now, why does my mind keep taking me back to places gone before?

Disconnected from reality.

Rant: World's Stupidest Driver

2007-04-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

I don't normally like to blog-rant, but this guy is so stupid, I can't help it.

Driver of Car SGH 1220 A has earned the title of World's Stupidest Driver.

We went to Kaki Bukit to pick up our pram and infant car seat today. On the way back in my dad's van (took the van today because all the stuff couldn't possibly fit in the car), vehicle number SGH 1220 A cut in front of us very suddenly and without any prior warning. Well, not too bad - we weren't that angry. Loads of lousy drivers do that all the time. As a warning, my dad then flashed him with the headlights. Now comes the stupid part: once in front of us, idiot driver jammed on the brakes (stopping in the middle of the road), trying to cause an accident, and as if that weren't enough, when we wanted to change lanes, idiot driver deliberately swerved in the same direction, clearly trying to prevent us from overtaking.

*deep breath* Here comes the rant..

How stupid can you be???

Firstly, you have a kid on your wife's (presumably) lap in the front passenger seat - that's not allowed. The law requires children to be strapped into a car seat for a reason, dum-dum! If we were nastier drivers, we'd cut in front of you and jam on our brakes and watch your kid fly out of your windscreen.

Secondly, you have an old woman in your back seat! If you want to pull this kind of stunt, make sure you don't cause too much collateral damage.

Thirdly, don't you think you shouldn't be drawing so much attention to yourself, since you're doing something illegal in the first place (kid not being in a car seat)?

Fourthly, have the brains to see what kind of car you're driving! If you're driving a tank-like Volvo, or even a large vehicle, then ok, maybe you can get away with this. But a puny Chevrolet? *rolls eyes*

Lastly, don't you know how stupid and uncool you look? And when we pulled up beside you and rolled down the windows, you idiotic coward, you didn't even dare to look in our direction! Your poor wife looked embarrassed. I would be too if I had a husband like you. Gutless worm.

I'm not trying to curse you or anything, but continue to drive like that, and I guarantee you, you won't live long on the road.

*deep breath* End of rant

The phrase "stupid idiot" is actually an exercise in redundancy, because an idiot is supposedly stupid already, but in this case, driver of car SGH 1220 A, you truly deserve to be called a stupid idiot.

Sick

2007-04-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

I'm not well today.

I've got clammy hands, an achy throat and I just feel lethargic.

Think I worked too hard over the weekend. Can't do this anymore. I've just gotta slow down. Unfortunately, that's never something I learnt how to do very well.

I need a holiday.

I wish, I wish, how I wish I could just escape somewhere with my hunny - like the song goes, "somewhere only we know", and there's no one else. Stress-free, carefree.

Sigh. Hiatus. But as I explained to xb some time back, it's not so easy to do that. I guess I'll just have to settle for the next best thing - hibernate.

The Last Leg

2007-04-20T17:38:00.000+08:00

It's here - finally - the third trimester. Today marks the day I cross over into the final stretch of pregnancy. 12 more weeks to go!

I remember one particular visit to the gynae. She told me, in a moment of candor, "Pregnancy is very uncomfortable." Not quite your it's-such-a-blessing-to-bring-new-life-into-this-world kind of doctor, eh?

But you know something? She's absolutely right.

These days I get tired so easily. Not so much because my belly is getting heavier (which it is), but because I can't breathe. My diaphragm and lungs are getting so squashed, it's so difficult to draw a breath. Walk a bit and I start panting. And singing is difficult - I just don't have the breath control anymore.

I can't bend over to pick up something that's dropped on the floor; my belly gets in the way. Even crossing my legs is difficult!

I have to be very very careful when I sneeze. We don't want no accidents, now! (It's called stress incontinence, people.)

When I drink water, it tends to come back up.

My aircon is my best friend. Can't do without it. In fact, I wish I had another one in my bedroom. Better yet, I wish I were in Australia - a chilly winter sure beats this sweltering heat which stifles and suffocates me.

Want to walk beside me and hold my hand? Be careful you don't fly when my big ass collides into your side. Can't help it - I waddle.

You think that's bad? I'm not done. I haven't even begun to mention how the "Pregnancy Glow" is a myth concocted by aliens who wish to colonise our planet.

My beautician friend said she could tell straightaway I was carrying a girl. Why? Because I was more vain. Her opinion: Mothers carrying girls tend to care more about their appearances than mothers carrying boys. Hm. I am wearing more makeup these days, but that's only to compensate for all the uglyfying effects of pregnancy!

Let's see - my chest and boobs are riddled with blue veins. All over. I've gone up so many sizes, the only way my old bras are gonna fit me is if I fasten them around my thigh.

My arms are flabby.

My legs are flabby.

My ankles regularly "disappear" when I don't drink enough water.

My husband says I'm getting pigmentation on my body. I don't believe him.*denial*

But when all's said and done - I'm happy to be having this baby. I'm happy to have experienced what I've gone through these past months, and I'm excited to see my baby at the end of this journey. I was talking to a new mother whose baby girl is just 4 months old. She said, "It sounds crazy, but I actually miss my bump." Hm. I wonder if that'll be me sometime down the road. For now, I guess my schizophrenic prayers sum up my feelings the best - "Dear God, please let the baby come soon. No, no, not too soon, I mean let the baby come on time and be healthy and all... but dear God, please please let it be soon....."

Corduroy Cafe

2007-04-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

Here's something a bit more cheerful after the afternoon's events at the police station. Ad and I headed down to Vivocity and decided to try the food at Corduroy Cafe which came highly recommended by a friend in the F&B industry.

The food is good! Pricey though.. piece of dessert cost us $7.95! I didn't get any pics of the food. Didn't intend to take any pics at all actually, because I was still feeling quite bleh. Only kind of perked up after the dessert (yes, it was that good).

You can see my tummy quite clearly in this pic.. almost 28 weeks! Yeh! 3 more months to go...

I loved the decor of the place - check out this pillar covered with framed photos. If you look at each photo on its own, it's nothing more than a collection of quirky, artistic shots. Look at the photos as a whole, you'll realise that all the photos are kissy photos! Every shot has got a kiss - boy kissing girl, man kissing woman, father kissing baby, etc etc.. Made me feel kissy too! Too bad Ad didn't quite share the sentiment. Heh.

Conclusion? A nice place. Go there to pamper yourself with delicious dessert and nua on comfy sofas while admiring the decor and view. Foodwise, good but not worth the money. You can get equally good food elsewhere at less painful prices.

[I'm turning into quite the food critic, eh? *grin*]

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

2007-04-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

I told myself I'd be calm today at the police station. I told myself I wouldn't get angry, that I'd keep my cool and volunteer information in a rational, non-emotional manner.

It went pretty well at first, I think. I didn't get to lose my temper because I wasn't really involved. Our Investigating Officer (IO) talked mainly to Ad while I sat some distance away on a sofa (too far away to hear what was going on). It was only towards the end that I decided to join them because Ad had some difficulty remembering certain details.

Turns out the IO had asked Ad to go down to the station today to answer some questions - basically, to get more information and to confirm/refute certain statements made by B.Ong. Stuff like, "What was XXX Company's role in the renovation?" and "Were you aware he was an undischarged bankrupt at the start?" (B.Ong apparantly told the IO that we were aware all along of his bankruptcy).

So, it was something like this - IO would ask a question, Ad would answer, IO would type down the question and answer on his laptop. Went like that for several questions. After the IO finished his questioning and typing, he printed out the document for Ad to read and sign - something like a sworn statement, I guess. Ad let me read it too - and when I got to the last question, all resolve to stay calm and non-emotional went out the window.

Let's see, the last question went something like, "Did you keep pestering B.Ong to conduct renovation works, knowing he was an undischarged bankrupt, in order to save costs..." Whaaat??!!! I think I lost it after I read the word "pestering".

The truth of the matter is that the idiot practically begged us to give him the renovation contract. Um, and somebody please explain to me how knowingly engaging a bankrupt to do renovation work will help us save money?

Do you see what I mean by him being an unrepentant liar? He's continually spouting lies. And we have to continually refute them as they come along.

It would be quite interesting to see what he's going to come up with next, if not for the fact that it's so darn tiring.

But I thank God for strength - not just for myself, but also for Ad. Ad's been the pillar in this whole affair. He's the one who keeps his cool and patience while dealing with all this crap - and I've been pleasantly surprised to find that my husband writes a mean letter! He's been busy shooting off email to the relevant parties - the police, the bankruptcy authorities - and I'm so impressed! His letters are clear and civil, yet incisive. It's reassuring to know that should this drag on till after I deliver, my man is more than capable of handling it all by himself.

Walking Into Spiderwebs

2007-04-18T03:39:00.000+08:00

Some things hurt so bad that the only way to let go and get on with life is to stuff them into a chest deep within your heart, lock the chest and throw away the key. Hopefully, as time goes by, the chest grows dusty, maybe covered with cobwebs, and as more time passes, the cobwebs shroud it so completely that the chest (and whatever's inside) ends up forgotten. Or perhaps, if enough time passes, whatever lies within the chest decays and turns to dust - little bits of nothingness - so opening the chest reveals just that - nothing.

The chest I'm opening is still very full.

The whole B.Ong/renovation con/embezzlement issue is, once again, alive and rearing its ugly head in my life. Ad's contacted the police to press them for developments after an entire year's nonaction on their part. We'll be heading to the station in approximately 7 hours to talk to our investigating officer (IO).

I can't sleep. I don't know what to think, don't know what to feel.

We heard from our IO that B.Ong wants to pay us back the money. But he made similar promises one year ago! The same old lies lies lies. Paying back the money he stole is not going to give me back this past year. I remember how I slogged just to make the extra money I needed - money I needed because he stole from us. I remember how I cried on my birthday just thinking of what he did. I remember how I put locks on our doors because I was afraid of unwanted visitors. I remember... and it hurts still. No, money will not satisfy me. Not this time. Not anymore.

He cannot be allowed to go scot-free. The case must be pursued. But I'm in no state to handle this - not now. For the past few weeks, my world has encompassed only these: my husband, my household, the impending arrival of my baby, my loved ones. All else has faded - gone the way of "stuff-I-can't-deal-with-right-now". I just have no energy for anything else. Dealing with this issue one year ago took so much out of me. How am I supposed to handle this now?

Take today, for example. After a year of inactivity, we received a flurry of calls from the IO - while we were in the cinema, no less! Poor Ad had to exit and re-enter 3 times just to answer his calls. And for what purpose? Mindless "he-said-this, he-said-that" nonsense. B.Ong is an unrepentant liar. And our IO wastes precious time and energy bouncing his lies to us - we refute them, B.Ong comes up with more lies, and so it goes. It was like that a year ago, it was like that again today. How long must I put up with this?

I just don't understand. The police have got all the evidence - the falsified receipts, the insolvency search results - it's practically open-and-shut! But no, I must get tormented every day.

I walked into spiderwebs to reopen this chest. And now the webs cling to me - sticky, entangling, irritating threads that I just can't shake off, no matter how hard I try.

Insidious Evils

2007-04-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

Today I'm going to blog about something bad. Something very bad. It's called Online Shopping.

Online Shopping has an evil cousin - it's called Internet Banking.

You see, I've been bored lately. Can't scrap because the pains make it difficult to sit on my butt for long periods of time. So I've turned to surfing the net.

Loads of people are selling things on the net. They turn their blogs into product showcases - lots of pretty pictures to snare the hapless shopper.

It all started with xb - yes, I'm blaming you! *grin* She gave me links to buy pretty earrings. But I was strong. I wrote down a whole list of pretty earrings (and a bracelet) which I wanted. Then I tore up the list and threw it away.

But I'm not so strong when it comes to shopping for my princess... Pictures of cutesy outfits and pretty shoes tempt me non-stop. I've only succumbed once so far - I think it's a good buy! A set of 5 rompers for $11.50! With Internet Banking, I didn't even have to leave the house. Now, I'm waiting for my purchase to arrive in the mail.

What's next? Shoes, I think. The daddy-to-be wanted to buy shoes for his little one the other day. I stopped him - "Babies don't walk, they don't need shoes!" But there's an online promotion for shoes at the moment - pretty shoes going quite cheap! And I'm thinking, so what if babies don't need shoes? Maybe the parents-to-be need to buy those shoes more than the baby needs them. It's a small price to pay to quench a craving that might escalate into something worse somewhere down the road [think branded footwear].

And so it goes. Silent. Deadly. Insidious.

A time to rest - a time to nest?

2007-04-13T17:16:00.000+08:00

Something is happening to me.

Every time I go out I feel sick/tired/achy. I only feel better when I'm at home. I could be at home resting, or I could be real busy cleaning the house, doing the laundry, folding nappies - I'd be fine! But when I venture out, I get achy and tired real fast. Legs start to hurt. Funny aches in funny places. I get nauseous and giddy.

And bad-tempered. I scolded a rude taxi driver the other day. And today, I scolded some idiot who spoke rudely to us (Hunny and me). And you know what? I enjoyed it. So fun to chew up other people when they irritate you. I even felt like smacking his silly cap off his balding head. It would have been so hilarious to see!

Maybe it's the hormones making me more aggressive.. why not? Lots of pregnant animals get aggressive - dogs, cats, mice, pigs...

Yes, blame the hormones. Definitely the hormones.

AntiSocial

2007-04-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

I don't want to go out. Don't want to meet people.

I'm tired of hearing what other people have to say.

I had an anxiety attack earlier this week... headache and all.

Have mercy on me, ok? Don't keep filling my ears with words that, though well-meant, do nothing for my peace of mind.

I repeat - it's my baby, my life, my money.

So there.

I don't want to share

2007-04-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I get jealous.

Everyone wants a piece of you, it seems. There are always a thousand and one things - people - screaming for your attention.

Oh, your colleague/boss needs you to do this.
Gotta do this for ministry.
Then there's this thing they need you to do.
And, don't forget your friend asked this favour of you.

You're so busy.

And then to unwind from all this business - busyness - you need the TV. Or MSN. Or Mr Brown.

But where's the time for me?

I know I'm being selfish. All that you're doing is good - beyond good, even. It's only right. Necessary. Obligations. But I can't help feeling the way I feel. I'm pregnant! Can't the others see that? Why do they keep competing with me for time with you? Why do they keep loading you with things to do, favours they ask, obligations to fulfill when I need you so much? Can't they be considerate enough to look at my swollen belly and think before they open their mouths to demand another thing from you? More time more effort - all that which drains what's left for me?

With only 3 months to go before our whole lives are changed, I'm eager - greedy - for every moment we can spend together.

I want every weekday evening when you come home from work.
I want every weekday you're off work.
I want every Saturday you have free.
I want every Sunday afternoon, and evening too.
I want every public holiday.
I want every nonpublic, self-declared holiday.
I want every outing you go to, work-related or otherwise.
I want every wedding dinner you have to attend.
I want every trip you make overseas.

And, in the famous words of someone else, I don't want to share.

Ps Colin warned us, didn't he? Our personalities are such that we like to be busy, but we must remember to come back to rest - nest - in each other.

Have we forgotten already?

Bed Time

2007-04-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

Bored. Bored. Bored.

I went to see the gynae today because of my pains. She couldn't do anything to ease the pain - just told me to rest in bed and wanted to prescribe me panadol which I refused (I won't take the pills anyway). Apparantly, I've strained/sprained the muscles down there, perhaps by walking/standing too much. Pregnant women are more prone to strains and sprains because of the hormones that relax the ligaments, and my case is aggravated by my low-lying placenta.

So I've spent the whole day in bed. Resting. Sleeping. Bored.

I'm thankful for small things - like Adrian's laptop, so I can surf/blog in bed. Thankful that there's a TV in the bedroom. Thankful for friends who call/sms to find out how I'm doing. Thankful that my baby seems to know what's going on, and is super active today - reassuring me and providing me with lots of entertainment.

Can't scrap. It hurts to sit up. I wish I could head down to the store today. It's Trendy New Arrivals Thursday and there are new clear stamps I want to look at, but I just know I'll get scolded left right centre if I venture out of the house.

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Well, there's always online shopping I s'pose! Good thing xb sent me a whole list of links.. Heh heh. New earrings, yeah!

No Go, No Flow

2007-04-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

Today was a bad scrapping day. Real bad. Very different from the way things were last night.

I suffered two disasters today. This was the first.. My beautiful disaster...

I liked this so much. I liked everything about it.. loved the cut out, loved the idea of putting it on green cardstock and cutting it out again, loved the sparkles that I used... But there was one fatal error - it's called air bubble. I don't know how a huge air bubble got trapped underneath the photograph of my sister. I'm usually really careful about these things, but somehow it happened today. I'm so sad. I wanted to give this to Debs but I can't now. You see, having an air bubble in your altered art project is like running someone over during your practical driving test. Immediate failure.

Despite my discouragement, I tried to do another one. The second one was even more of a disaster (it wasn't beautiful this time); I threw it in the bin even before the paint was dry.

I think something is wrong with me. I'm irritable and grumpy.

I don't feel well. My shoulders ache. I'm warmish - like I'm going to get a fever. I feel vomity.

I've got too much on my mind.

Insurance agent who's supposed to call me hasn't contacted me yet. Even if he does, I have no time to meet him over this week.

My computer is lagging. I'm afraid it'll crash because I've been taxing it so much with all the photos and such.

HP photo papers are crap. HP photo printing is crap. The ink smudges every which way whenever I apply glue. Should I get the Canon Selphy?? But I want a new camera. DSLR or digital compact??

I've got peculiar pregnancy aches and I don't know whether to call my gynae or not. Don't want to be overanxious and run to her for every small thing. Gotta be tough, see. But these aches are weird. In weird places. And no one I know has experienced them before. Even the parenting/pregnancy forums don't mention this. Why? Worried.

I haven't bought comfy shoes for Easter production yet. My feet are not going to make it with my current pair. But the only one I've seen is a $100 plus pair from Americaya. Feels so excellent to wear those shoes. But so expensive - and so ugly!

The last straw - I just got an email from my leader. Says my testimony is too general and nonspecific. But how specific you want me to be, when I'm only given 45 seconds to speak? Why can't I just say that God has been good and He's been providing for me, taking care of me? Do you really think the congregation can handle the reason why conceiving this child is restoration for me? Or about how God's helped us get out of debt that runs in the tens of thousands without explaining why it got there in the first place? Help. I can't do this.

Too many things. I'm just going to sleep.

Jars of Joy!

2007-04-03T16:24:00.000+08:00

Every now and then, I get inspired to do a project that really makes me happy. Therapeutic, I guess.

Adrian and I attended a wedding dinner on Saturday. I was quite delighted to see that the wedding favours were cute little jars filled with sugared almonds. Well, I'm not particularly fond of almonds, but the little jars were perfect for altering - smooth and cylindrical. And cute! I took six of these little beauties home..

It was so fun altering these jars because they are so small - I managed to alter all six last night, and here are the finished products:

The first jar I did could have been better - I think I was still warming up, so I played it pretty safe. The words read "God's Word is my daily bread!"

And into this first jar, I put alphabet pasta! Get it? "Word", "alphabet"... ahem.

I got a bit more adventurous with the second jar - decided to embellish with buttons and prima flowers, which kind of spoilt the smooth, cylindrical effect of the jar, but gave it more dimension.

Into this second jar I put dried rosebuds. These rosebuds were actually part of another wedding favour from another wedding. You can put these buds in hot water to make tea. Conclusion - weddings are good to go to, even if it's just to collect the wedding favours!

The third jar I decided to try something different. Used my sparkle mod podge for the first time (mod podge is a decoupage medium). The sparkles weren't that nice though - I think the shiny bits were a bit too big.. should have used glitter glaze instead, which had finer shiny particles.

At first, I didn't know what to put into this jar. I rummaged around in the kitchen and found coffee beans! Coffee beans are perfect, because they are so aromatic. The whole room smells of coffee once this jar is uncorked..

This is jar number 4 - my mother's favourite. I think she likes the bling! Coffee beans in this jar too..

I realised that all my jars were looking a bit girly, so I decided to do one that was more masculine, so that I could give it to a guy friend.

Since the patterned paper I used had stars and suns on it, I put star anise into this jar. Nice spicy smell!

My final jar - I think maybe I was a little tired when I did this, because I made some mistakes. Some air bubbles got trapped under the paper, so the surface isn't entirely smooth. Boohoo. And I liked the papers so much too. Tried to make up for it with a pretty ribbon, which was horrible to tie. Had to like try 4 times before I got the bow right..

Filled this final jar with tea leaves (that smell great!) which my dad brought back from Taiwan..

So now, after all the excitement of last night, I'm a little bored. Nothing to alter - inspiration has run dry. I wander from room to room with my eyes peeled, hoping to find something, anything that I could possibly work on, but my mind keeps assessing and rejecting possibilities.

-No, this box is too soft.
-This jar is too big.
-This tin hasn't got a lid.
-This jar isn't even mine!

Anybody out there has cute little jars I can use?

You can do it too!

2007-04-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

Here's another page I did just this past friday - oh so tiring! This one was a study in patience. And perseverance. And, like what xb says, fine motor skills. Each of the red flowers on the right took 10 minutes minimum to cut out. There are 9 of these flowers. Go figure. I'm still trying to recover from the sleep deprivation of that friday night...

Close up of those killer red flowers:

A close up of more cut outs:

A rub on:

And here's the page which I started on during my mini scrap session with xb and Miss Ho - I finally managed to finish it after heading back to the store to get more materials. Guess what I was short of? Letter "Z"s.

Lots of people helped me with this layout. Xb and Miss Ho gave me lots of advice - even Ad chipped in. This little photo here was his idea..

And credit for this beautiful cut out must go to Miss Ho:

I originally wanted to post this as a comment, but since I had so much to say, I thought I'd put it here instead..

I don't think scrapping is a gift! It's something that can be learnt.. At first I was quite 'boring' too - afraid to try a lot of things, and I made a lot of mistakes.. but imitating other people has taught me a lot, and given me the confidence to try lots of other stuff (not all good).. I think being artistic and innovative is a gift.. a lot of what I do is trial and error - no art there! and copying too, of course!

As long as you have the interest, I bet you can do it! Let's organise another scrapmeet! or better still - I'll organise a private class - Made With Love does private classes for a group of 4 and above, I think (must pay, of course, but I don't know how much per person). We'll pick a project that we all like - maybe an album or lunchbox - and we'll have an instructor to facilitate the workshop! Funz!

Let's see - list of participants could be.. all you who read my blog? Grand total 5! Haha!

More Memories

2007-03-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

Something else I scrapped today (click on the image to see a larger/clearer version):

Some close-up shots of the smaller details:

I want a new camera. I've been scrapping a lot of wedding photos since I started this hobby, so much so that it's getting boring. But the thing is, my wedding photographer is so good, his photos are so wonderful, and because they tell a story almost all on their own, it's so easy to scrap. My own photos, on the other hand, are crap.

I want a new camera so I can take those cool pictures where the main "thing" is in sharp focus and everything else is blurry.

But, maybe maybe a new camera won't solve anything. Suppose I get a new camera and then my photos still turn out lousy?? Sigh. Maybe I'm just a lousy photographer.

A New Look

2007-03-30T12:42:00.000+08:00

And through the night, she struggled mightily - the woman against the Beast called HTML. As dawn approached, the monster was finally cast down into the inferno from whence it was wrought. Order was once again restored in the land of Blog.

At least I hope so.

I hate HTML.

And all sorts of programming codes.

And computers.

Computers are stupid. Blogger beta is a pain. It took me the whole night just to get this template working - at least everything seems fine now. If it isn't working properly - don't tell me. I don't want to know. Not just yet anyway. I'm not quite ready to pull another all-nighter.

One gripe - I still don't like the header picture. Ugh. Changing it means I have to revive the Beast...

You know, at this point in time, I'm so ready to pay someone to make my blog pretty for me.

Scrapping is more than just making a pretty page

2007-03-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

Xb and Ms Ho came over to my place today to scrap. Well, actually, xb and myself scrapped while Ms Ho was wonderfully sweet and cut out stuff for me.

I love scrapping. It's more than just trying to put things together to make a pretty page.

Take today, for example. There was something special in scrapping with friends, chatting away while our hands kept busy, occasionally stopping to ask one another for some layout advice... We talked about work (theirs), family (mine), love lives (cannot say whose), friends (ours), and while the pages slowly came together, our hearts came together too.

And then there was what came after. After they left, I decided to continue scrapping. I worked on what I had started, but decided to stop because I ran out of a certain material which I needed. But I wasn't satisfied. The engine had started and I didn't feel like switching it off yet. And so I scrapped this.

I believe this is my favourite piece of work to date. It's not about how it looks (although I like the way the colours collide), it's more about how I felt. I didn't plan this one - I just started with a question, "How about if I do this?" and things just took off. One by one, the elements came together - and it became something part experimental, part intuitive. After a while, I didn't really care what went where anymore. Rather, I cared about what felt good and what didn't.

But the best part of doing this was the way it brought me back to my wedding day. I look at the photos and I smile to myself. He looks so cute with his tongue hanging out after eating the chilli. And with every piece of paper I stick down, every little embellishment I add, I remember - this is how much he loves me.

28 on the 28th

2007-03-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

As I am writing this on such a full stomach, I feel I must first apologise in case I get incoherent.

Hunny turned 28 today! We spent the day together - it was such a day of indulgence! We watched movies (yes, plural), ate ice cream, had coffee, etc etc... It's as if we crammed a whole lot of pak tor sessions into a single day. And now my tummy is paying the price..

We started off at Vivocity. Our itinerary was: buy tickets for two movies, have lunch, watch movies, shopping. As we were quite late arriving at Vivo, we only had a scant half hour to eat lunch. However, we did manage to cram a fair bit of food into our bellies in that short time!

Lunch was at this place called Brotzeit. It's a German bier bar and restaurant.

Here's what we had:

Sausages with sauerkraut and roasted potatoes.. quite yummy.

This was my favourite dish - ham and cheese and some other stuff on German multigrain bread.

Tafelspitz - cool name, but really just boiled beef chunks which I found quite hard and chewy..

I think the coolest part of the meal was the beer. Yup! Even this mommy-to-be had beer! See my glass was bigger than his!

Happily guzzling the beer...

Before you flood me with condemning comments - my beer's alcoholfree (that's how they spell it). It was fun, though! Fizz without the kick.

Once we were done with food, we hurried to the cinema to catch Mr Bean's Holiday. Boring movie, and the GV Max cinema is way overrated. Large cinema, normal-sized screen. What's the point in that, really? Anyway, the movie was so short (1 hour 30 minutes) that we found ourselves with a full hour before our next movie started. So we did the British thing - we went for tea (or rather, coffee).

Adrian's coffee at Pacific Coffee Company was just so-so, my hot chocolate tasted like Milo, and the rosemary chicken pie was chewy, but it was fun nonetheless. Really felt like we were dating all over again. The view was good too - we could see Sentosa and the cable cars and the light rail.

Our next movie was TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).. Don't laugh now - it was actually pretty good! Much better than Mr Bean anyway.

After the movie, we adjourned to Novena Square for some shopping. We had three goals to accomplish - use up $80 worth of vouchers at Mums N Babes (vouchers expiring real soon), use up $10 voucher at Ben and Jerry's (got the voucher as a Christmas present) and buy Adrian a pair of running shoes as his birthday pressie. Unfortunately, the shoes were not meant to be. It was a bit disappointing to find such a limited range of sport shoes at what is touted to be a "sporty" centre (Velocity), so we decided to wait till the weekend to head down to Queensway instead.

Dinner was at a tapas restaurant called Bungalow at United Square - great food here!

Escargots in cheese... yummy! You can see how much Adrian's enjoying it!

Three different dips to go with our bread - hummus (I have no idea what's in this), olives/tomatoes and sundried tomatoes.

Lovely, oh-so-succulent FOIE GRAS - my absolute fave!! I can eat tons of foie gras. I think my liver is part goose already.

Wagyu beef was next - horribly overpriced, I feel! But not bad, not bad.. good enough that we forgot to take a picture..

Asparagus wrapped in bacon. This is so skilfully done, I tell you the asparagus doesn't taste like a vegetable anymore - it tastes like bacon. If only all veggies could taste this good...

That's quite a lot of food for two people eh? (Well, two and a half, but still!!) You'd think we'd be too full for dessert - but don't forget our $10 Ben and Jerry's voucher! So we headed to Ben and Jerry's for a three-scoop sundae. And well, that kind of tipped us over the edge. Adrian and I are now suffering the effects of extreme overeating - bodily inertia, shortness of breath (can't breathe because too full to expand lungs), and slight stupidity (brain cells died due to chocolate overdose).

But, what can I say? It was great fun. Let's do it again! My birthday's in May.....

One can of beer

2007-03-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

I told Hunny that he could get one can of beer. And guess what he picked?

He's quite smart, hor?!

D-Day Stands For Difficult Day

2007-03-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

Today was difficult. Difficult to get through, I mean. Apart from the fact that someone upset me terribly, here's why it was so difficult:

1. I was so exhausted after serving in church this weekend. I went to bed exhausted last night, and twelve hours of sleep later, I woke up still exhausted.
2. I tried to change my blogskin but the various templates I downloaded gave me so much trouble - some stupid message "cannot parse" mumbo jumbo - that I got a headache. Got stuck with this hobbity one eventually.
3. My tummy hurts. Not terribly, but it's the too-much-gas kind of pain. This is what colic feels like, I suppose.
4. I discovered cellulite on my ass last night. And this morning it was still there. Need I say more?
5. I felt nauseous for most of the day. I thought I was done with the first trimester nausea - why is it back when I'm already 6 months along??
6. It's so hot. So stiflingly hot. Hot-air-all-around, cannot-breathe-properly kind of hot. Perspire-despite-air-con-room kind of hot.
7. Something is wrong with my digestive system. I feel very undigested inside. Cannot describe. Like all the food isn't moving and it's all piling up somewhere inside and it's all choked up and urgh. Uncomfortable.
8. I feel so thirsty. So dehydrated. ALL THE TIME. So I drink a lot of water. But I keep peeing. And peeing. And peeing.
9. I have no inspiration to scrap. No ideas. No photos.
10. I feel fat, ugly, and unlovable.

Decoupage

2007-03-23T02:18:00.000+08:00

Here's the new technique I hinted at in my last blog entry - decoupage. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, decoupage is the art of decorating surfaces by applying cutouts (of paper) and then coating with usually several layers of finish (as lacquer or varnish).

In other words,
Step 1. You take an object - something firm preferably (for example, wood is better to use than cork) - and cover it with a decoupage medium. A decoupage medium is a gluey substance - it can be used as a glue and a sealant which dries clear. An example - the white glue we used in school for art lessons! Art Friend sells decoupage medium called Mod Podge. Cute name eh?
Step 2. Then you stick on paper cutouts or whatever you want to stick. Fabric can be used too. I like to call this "covering the object".
Step 3. You can stick on more paper on top of whatever paper you've stuck on already. By using the same medium.
Step 4. Finished sticking stuff? Cover the entire surface with the decoupage medium. Wait till it dries clear. Cover it again with the glue one more time.

So simple! But so very messy...

It's quite fun though! I've been experimenting - here's something I did which I quite like:

How this came about: All alone at home one day, I was bored - no ideas for scrapping. I had just learnt the decoupage technique at a class and was itching to do it more at home. Then my eyes fell upon this innocent looking cork coaster lying on my study table. I pounced on it with great relish...

Here's the other side of the coaster:

And here's how it looks hung up:

On the pregnancy front, my little baby has been kicking me quite vigorously these few days. She's getting really strong! And though her kicks are sometimes uncomfortable, it's very reassuring to feel her there. I can't describe to you the feeling of putting your hand on your tummy and feeling it move under your palm. It's as if I can feel a foot or something!

My Scrap Shelf! and more Work..

2007-03-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Costs only $29 at Ikea!

See all my stuff in cute $2 boxes from Daiso!

Here's what I've been doing with all the supplies I bought..

Our honeymoon parasailing pictures - if you look closely you can see our legs...

Honeymoon again - quad biking this time...

Check out the page Ad scrapped for me - so sweet! It matches the one I did for him on Strength earlier.

I'm now working on a new project, a whole new technique altogether... stay tuned for more pics real soon!

Scrap Galore!

2007-03-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

I've been on a roll these few days... loads of ideas for scrap pages... bought loads of supplies!!!! hahah.

Honestly, this is a bad habit. Yes, habit.

I bought some buttons - trust me, they are superb fun to stick on pages.. you can even stitch them on!

Some foam stamps too, to use with acrylic paint - good for old world effects..

Here's my little box of "stuff" - there's bottles of paint (brown, black, pink, blue, pearl glaze) and some eyelets and brads.

And some pretty ribbon for girly pages!

Some chipboard tags - chipboard is like cardboard - very much like what you see on the back of your foolscap pad, only thicker..

And acrylic stamps (plus my new vintage "Sugar Plum" ink pad - this is really cool - the ink is scented!)..

Sigh.. there's still so much more I want to buy!

Wish list:
1. More acrylic stamps (these babies are not cheap!)
2. More buttons from Foof a La!
3. More chipboard alphabets from Basic Grey
4. Magnetic snaps
5. Metal charms for embellishment
6. More acrylic paint colours!
7. More vintage ink pads - I've got my eye on a certain Ripe Melon
and.. *drum roll*...
8. Canon Selphy ES1 dedicated photo printer! (But I'll settle for the C730 - good 'nuff!)

Ahem. Ok, I'm back from fantasy land. The reality is, my study room is horribly cluttered. Everything is everywhere. But but but I've just gotten back from Ikea with a $29 shelf! My very own scrapping shelf! Yeah! Waiting for Adrian to get home so he can help me fix it up... I'll upload pics of my new shelf as soon as I'm all organised!

My Sister is the Sweetest One of All!

2007-03-16T15:34:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to blog this for quite a while, but I've been having problems with Blogger - couldn't seem to upload my pics!

I got the loveliest surprise the other day - my sis sent me prezzies from Perth (via the Oon Express), and they are gorgeous! Thank you dearest sister for the lovely baby clothes - ooh I can't wait to dress my little girl!

Have you seen a cuter outfit? In Pink, no less!

A sweet dress - looks perfect for baby dedication at church!

And to top it off, SHOES! My sweetie's first pair of shoes!

*melt melt melt*

I'm so touched and so happee.

More Scrapwork!

2007-03-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged in a few days... I was so busy over the weekend with church and family gatherings. In fact, I've been so busy I haven't even been scrapping. Which is bad. I must scrap regularly, else I'll lose my mojo... heh.

I attended a scrapping workshop today and I'm back! I like workshops - they inject me with new ideas for scrap pages and I learn more about the different techniques too. End result - I become like a locomotive engine running on nitro...

This scrap page below I actually started quite a few days ago, but I lacked the supplies to put in the title. The journaling is actually part of a song by Steven Curtis Chapman - Ad and I wanted to sing this song for our wedding but we didn't get to. It's a lovely song, great tune and all, but what makes it so special is that it's about love and the commitment that goes with it. It's one of those songs that always makes me sigh.. "And I'll hold you close/And I won't let go/Even when our steps grow weak and slow" *sighhhhhh*

So, anyway, I put in the lyrics of the song and titled the page "Vow". I like it, but I still feel that there's something missing. No oomph. A bit plain. But I'm reluctant to add more embellishment because I don't want to detract from the old world theme of the page. Don't want to draw snake and add foot, if you know what I mean..

This next one is bright and cheery - I like this a lot! I did this today in the workshop. I wanted to scrap some of my favourite honeymoon pictures, but I only managed to do the beach pics today. For my next project, I'm going to do a page on the quad biking photos so that the two pages form a two-page layout, which I affectionately term "Surf and Turf". Haha! The instructor for the class today nearly fainted when I told her that I wanted to name this page "Surf" and the other one "Turf". Apparantly, it was way too corny.

Since I got my mojo back after the workshop, I came home and started scrapping my parents' wedding photos. I had actually gotten the photos from my mom a couple of days back, but well, no inspiration prior to today. This page was hard to do. Because my mom didn't give me enough pictures of her and dad together! It didn't quite turn out the way I originally wanted it to, because I was still experimenting with inking (new technique I learnt today), but I'm ok with the overall result nonetheless. Maybe still needs a bit more embellishment, I think.

This last one I really like - because of the colours. Peach, pink, purple and red... girly colours! I did this really quickly - nitro kicking in - but I still think it's a bit unfinished, because I want to add more embellishment. Maybe some metal stuff. But I don't know what. Got to go down to the shop and looksee to get some ideas/supplies but I think I've already exhausted my spending quota for this month. Ahem.

Ad's so sweet - he's quite keen on scrapping a page for me. When I told this to the girls in the workshop today, they said a guy who's willing to do this for a girl is definitely a keeper...

Like A Fool

2007-03-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I get so tired I just want to throw in the towel.

But stupidly like a fool I keep trying again and again and again.

I think it ends today.

Not Enough Moolah To Buy Frame

2007-03-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

To my dear sister in Perth:

Sorry Debs! I did this for you and I wanted to get it framed up so Oon can take it back to Perth to cheer you up but I don't have enough money to buy a nice frame... *sob*

It'll be waiting here with me for you to come back home and claim it ok?

On a side note, here's why I don't have enough money to buy a frame. Ad and I bought a cot from Mums and Babes at United Square. Display piece looked pretty good (just had some dirt marks on it - usual), but when the cot was delivered and assembled at our place, we found that the wood and paint had chipped off at some parts! Now, that's unacceptable, because peeling paint is a safety hazard. The deliverymen went back down to their truck to get us another piece, but it still had the same problem. So we rejected the whole item, but unfortunately, we couldn't get our money back. Goods not refundable, only exchangeable. Darn. So we had to go round the stupid shop trying to find $400 worth of products, which well, isn't too difficult to do, but the end result is that we spent $400 on useful but low priority baby stuff, and we still don't have a cot.

I'm so frustrated.

Really frustrated.

Some part of my mind whispers, "See what happens when you listen to other people and try to stinge on quality?" Sigh sigh sigh. But $400 isn't really that cheap......

I really hope we manage to buy a good cot for our baby. And I really hope that after all this hassle, my baby will be a good baby who likes to sleep in the cot.

Busy Busy!

2007-03-05T11:08:00.000+08:00

Whoo! I've been so busy lately, I'm so relieved that I've finally got the time to breathe and relax a bit!

There's a conference going on at the moment at church, busy busy busy! Plus, I went to the Babycare Festival at Suntec on Saturday to see if I could pick up some good deals - but I'm sad to say that it was such a disappointment. I was hoping to get some good discounts on the big ticket items like prams and cots, but the range they had on display was so limited.

The only good thing that came out of Saturday's foray into Suntec was that my MIL and I chanced upon a mothercare store offering up to 70% discounts in a closing down sale. We managed to grab some Avent bottles and an Avent steriliser, as well as some beautiful cutesy baby outfits! Yeah! (Note: We almost bought more, if not for the timely intervention of Ad's aunt whom we coincidentally bumped into there...)

Of course we didn't stop there. We visited more shops, both at Suntec and Marina Square and bought some more cutesy clothes...

and little sockies!

I'm so going to sue the doctor if he's wrong about my baby's gender!

Anyway, on a separate, more somber note, here's my next piece of completed scrapwork.

I wanted to try scrapping a single photo instead of multiple photos, which also gives me more room to journal on the page. I wanted this piece to convey my yearning to be somewhere else right now... away from Singapore with all its hustle and bustle and stress. I want to be somewhere idyllic, somewhere peaceful, somewhere the wind blows on my face and sweeps away all the weariness and worry, and refreshes me with scents of lemon verbena and lavender instead.

My New Hobby

2007-03-01T23:36:00.000+08:00

It's been a bit quiet here lately because I've got a new obsession - Scrapping! Scrapping is short/slang for scrapbooking (I think). I wanted to scrap initially because I was excited and all about the baby's arrival. So I wanted to make a scrapbook of the baby's ultrasound scans and future photos. YH kindly recommended me this shop at Plaza Singapura - Made With Love - and since then, I've been hooked.

Made With Love is a sugar-free candy store. Rows and rows of beautiful paper; shelves of cutesy decorations; and the tools! Man! I love the tools! There are gadgets for everything you want to do. I now have the following items:

A Paper Trimmer - to cut nice straight lines and crop photos

A Quickutz Squeeze - this gadget punches out alphabets used for titling, as well as cute shapes (but you must buy the different dies!)

And my toolkit!

I'm so happee... heh.

Here's a look at some of the things I've done so far..

Just this Wednesday, I attended a class at the store to learn the basics of scrapbooking. The class was so much fun! I learnt so much about design and basically what worked for a page and what didn't. The students got to work on their individual projects during class - here's what I did with our wedding photos:
Note: It's still incomplete.. I haven't put in the title yet.

Here's more on wedding photos:

This last one I did for Ad - it's basically about his strength as a man. I like this a lot.

I really like my new hobby. Sometimes, it's a struggle for me - I'm not really all that artistic, and I can't draw for nuts. I keep to the simplest layouts (less risky) and I do lots of cutting and pasting and very little that involves a pen. But there is something very therapeutic about sticking stuff on paper, and it's incredibly fun hammering holes and eyelets. I can't wait to start my next project. I need an idea! Does anybody have an idea?

A Time To Rest

2007-02-27T15:35:00.000+08:00

I'm so exhausted today.

Yesterday I had quite a busy day. Met my parents for lunch, went shopping, came home to cook dinner, went out shopping again after that... Came home and did some packing and folding, and then when I tried to iron, I discovered that my arms couldn't move.

I'm still so fatigued today.

Just two days ago, I was asking my MIL for help in looking for a job. But it seems like God's sending me a message. Because every time I think I want to go and work to earn some money, this fatigue thing sets in. The last time I got this exhausted feeling was when I was considering whether or not to do some data entry at a peanut factory at Ulu Pandan. I remember I got cramps along with fatigue that time, and had to stay in bed to rest.

So I think I'll just stay unemployed and keep myself busy by exercising, planning what baby things are needed and, of course, shopping!!

Halfway point! 20 weeks down, 20 to go!

2007-02-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

Hunny put his ear on my tummy just now - he was trying to listen out for the baby's heartbeat. But guess what? He got a kick on his cheek instead! Hahaha! Baby kicked daddy! I have one very active baby!

My baby likes to move a lot. Especially when there's loud, jangly music on. Like MTV. Or when I eat ice cream. Baby likes ice cream!! Magazines and websites say that the baby might be quite inactive during this period of the pregnancy. It might be sleeping as much as 20 hours a day and active only for 4 hours. Hah! I think my baby is the other way around - active for 20 hours and sleeping only for the other 4!

Some websites say also that this is the time when my belly button might start to pop out. I know many women go "eww" at the thought of a popped out belly button, but honestly, when I look at my navel right now, I don't know if having it pop out is that bad after all. My belly button is still nicely tucked in - but it looks so huge! It's just like what Solomon described in his Song of Songs, "Your navel is a rounded goblet."

Ah well, I'm already halfway through my pregnancy. As for now, I have a rounded goblet, and a lively baby. Who knows what the next 20 weeks will bring? I can hardly wait.

MRT Ride

2007-02-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

I went to Marina Square today for some retail therapy and got lost. I couldn't find my way back to the taxi stand but somehow ended up at Citylink instead, so I decided to take a train back home.

In the MRT, nobody even bothered to ask me if I wanted a seat. The half of the carriage I was facing pointedly ignored my belly (quite obviously displayed today). The other half of the carriage must have seen the large bag slung over my shoulder that said, "Maternity Exchange".

But nobody offered me a seat.

My conclusion: Half of Singapore is blind, and the other half is illiterate.

Oh, but on the LRT ride home, one kind lady finally offered me her seat. Which I declined because she didn't look very young and robust herself.

Chinese New Year!

2007-02-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

Check out my Chinese New Year goodies!

I tell you, I have never ever seen so much food prepared for Chinese New Year before. It's just not done in my family. Not on my mom's side, and not on my dad's. I think I must be deprived or something.

I'm so fatigued - I spent the whole night cleaning the home.. I'm quite ready to drop into bed right now. But the most exciting thing happened last night! I felt my baby move! I've been trying very hard for weeks to discern the baby's movement, but I was never really sure if what I felt was gas or really my baby. Last night, I finally knew for sure. And even more amazing - I saw my belly twitch! A spot near my belly button went up and down, accompanied by that bubbly feeling inside my body. This happened three times! Little baby is having fun moving around, I think...

It's excellent. Everything is excellent. Baby moving is excellent. House is clean and excellent. Hunny is sweet and excellent. And I'm most delighted to say, the bak kwa is EXCELLENT! Yummy!

Of Lazy Days

2007-02-16T04:35:00.000+08:00

I went swimming today. And got sunburnt. I'm so useless - can't even stay out in the sun for long without turning red like a lobster. Worst part - I just can't get tanned! Get red and peel - that's me.

We swam at NSRCC at Changi. My dad picked me up and then picked my sis up and then we went to pick Adrian up from work (he was on half-day) and headed to NSRCC for lunch and swimming.

Lunch was pretty eventful.. lousy waitress had a crap memory and an even worse attitude. Poor Adrian lost his appetite because of the lousy service so he didn't get to eat a proper lunch.

Swimming was fun.. a lazy affair, soaking in the water and baking in the sun (hence the burn)... We saw some ah bengs and ah lians at the pool - they weren't really serious about swimming either. One of the guys was doing some bouncy thing in the water that my sis found quite amusing. Maybe he was intrigued by the sudden bouyancy of... um... certain body parts. We were quite fascinated by one of the ah lians who had a huge tattoo running from her shoulder to her ass - and by tattoo I mean the fierce fierce kind hor, not the girly flower/swirly/tribal patterns.. I spent quite a lot of time looking at those skinny girls in their bikinis and feeling quite self-conscious about my round shape squeezed into a tankini that barely covers my tummy. My sis was probably the only serious swimmer in the pool - she must have done like 20 lengths, whereas Adrian and I gave up after 10 lengths and went to soak in the jacuzzi tubs.

We got up, showered, had some food, and then left for home. But just as we were nearing Bukit Panjang, Adrian suddenly got a call - he had to go back to Changi Air Base for an emergency. Argh!! All the way back there! Again! For those of you who are geographically challenged like I am, Bukit Panjang and Changi are very far apart. $30 taxi fare type of far apart. My dad was really nice, he offered to give Adrian a lift to Changi after he had dropped my sis and I at BP. Adrian was a bit concerned about his attire - his uniform had been squished inside his gym bag and was quite unwearable. I can still remember what he said to his colleague - "Eh, I'm going to be wearing civvies. My uniform is folded in my bag. I just went to do sports." *I'm sniggering* Sports eh? Wah, so active hah?

It was a great day. Lots of fun and laughter. A nice day to store in my memory bank. Somewhere along the long journey back to BP from the club, we started musing, lulled by the weather and the monotony of the drive. My dad said that journeys like this always made him think about his childhood days. My sister said she would think about shopping - shopaholic! Me? I somehow always think of the beach. I remember the lazy days I spent with Adrian at the beach at Sentosa - our beer bottles sweating inside our little coleman cooler as we roasted ourselves on the sand. I remember the heat of the sun and the cool of the sea. I remember the smell of suntan lotion and the greasy feel of the lotion mixed with perspiration as we heated under the sun. I remember playing pool at the beach bars in our swimwear and flip flops.

When will I get to do all these things again? I don't know. I do know that my life is going to change very drastically very soon, but I don't know what to expect. Sometimes when I look back on the past, I feel a twinge - not of sadness, no, not quite, but perhaps of envy - envy of my younger, more carefree self who could do anything she wanted with little regard for something so serious as the future. But then I look at myself now, and I figure I like what I see. And then looking into the future - ahh... even if it's only speculation, it's a beautiful sight.

The Sweetest Babe

2007-02-15T02:56:00.000+08:00

Isn't she beautiful?

Yes, she. We have a baby girl! We just found out today when we went for the detailed scan (second trimester screening). The doctor kept us in suspense, working his way from the baby's head all the way down. He had some problems scanning the baby's brain - "Your baby likes to move!" he said. My contrary little baby liked to turn the other way whenever the doctor wanted to get a still shot of the brain.

Finally, he said the much-awaited words, "Here we see the gender... A baby girl.." I think I started tearing.

I'm so happy. Pink dresses, here I come! Pink booties too. Ooh, I love pink booties.

Letting Go

2007-02-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

You've got to believe me when I say I want to let it go. Really.

I'm tired of feeling angry and hurt and upset. I'm tired of the sleepless nights and the constant replaying of her words in my mind. I'm tired of thinking of the what ifs - what if I had said this? or perhaps this? or what if this had happened instead? and what if she says this when we next meet?

I'm tired.

I want to sleep without having to watch TV till my eyelids droop and my mind goes fuzzy with fatigue.

I want to get through a day without having to carefully lock away that anger and resentment that simmers just below the surface, always, always.

I want to pray without crying at the wrong that's been done to me.

Believe me.

Don't say it wasn't a big deal. It is. Don't say I should just let it go. There is no "just" to doing it.

Can you not see that it was a brutal attack? One that left me wounded and bleeding?

Wounds do not heal in a day.

Help me, won't you? Help me heal. Comfort me when the anger resurfaces. Soothe me when the healing wounds itch and tempt me to scratch at scabs. Don't scold me, don't make light of what I feel. Don't force me to a place where you leave me no choice but to lock a part of myself away in silence. I need someone else, besides myself, to recognise that my wounds are real.

A nicer blog entry

2007-02-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired, so drained after all that anger and hurt. My eyes are so awful now - puffy and red and ugly - after crying for the whole night and day. I lost all the weight I painstakingly put on in just one day. Because I was too upset to eat. So I have no energy now to write long meaningful blog entries.

But Baibai reminds me - think of good things. And so I put this here. Check out Ad's blog entry about our first year anniversary celebrated on the 5th of February 2007. We had a great time together - I wanted to blog about this but he beat me to it, and I think he did a fantastic job. Lots of nice pictures! Of FOOD!

I will think about happy things.

Female Friends

2007-02-08T04:33:00.000+08:00

Did you think that men are territorial creatures? Women are far worse.

Let me give you a little glimpse into the workings of female possessiveness. Maybe you'll be able to understand War and Beauty a little better.

One phenomenon I detest: the female friend hanger-on.

What's a hanger-on? A hanger-on is someone who doesn't know when to back off a relationship but still continues to hang on.

When we talk about hangers-on, we usually refer to a guy in particular. Hangers-on would then be certain female friends of his, or even ex-girlfriends who just don't seem to get the message.

My husband is a great guy, and great guys collect a lot of hangers-on.

Hanger-on Type 1: The Displaced Best Friend
Face it, when a guy gets attached, his girlfriend is (or should be) now his new best female friend. When Ad and I first got together, we both entered into a mutual understanding that we would be each other's best friend. Unfortunately, we had to get rid of the old best friend first. Or rather, I had to get rid of this problem. Girl No.1 had enjoyed a rather close relationship with Ad previously, and even though I was now in the picture, wished to continue this closeness. I still shudder when I remember what I had to deal with. "I don't want to share you tonight." Her words, not mine. No lar, it's not some indecent proposition, it's just her saying that she doesn't want to share him with me. But wait, wait - eh, he was never yours to begin with, he's mine! So you have nothing to share actually, right?

Hanger-on Type 2: The Pubescent Flirt
Come on, we've all been there. Puberty - brings with it raging hormones, boobs and above all, a sense of awareness (mistaken or otherwise) that you are powerful because you are sexy. Ahem. So Girl No.2 was this little mei-mei who I believe wasn't interested in Ad in that way but had great belief in her powers of "attraction". So she tried to ask him out for a movie when I wasn't around. Now, Ad and I have a rule. No movies or other date-like scenarios with other people from the opposite sex. So of course, he refused her. She continued her assault - claiming that she and I were friends and I wouldn't mind. Man! In the end, her little bubble got squashed. I wish I could say to her, "Seriously, what do you have to compete against me? You who can't even order a glass of wine legally??? Please. Don't make me laugh."

Hanger-on Type 3: The Faux Friend
True female friends will wish for Ad to be happy. And if being with me makes him happy, then true friends will encourage that. False female friends only have their own selfish agenda - preserve their friendship with the guy, even if it means making him unhappy. How to identify such a female friend? These are the ones who sow discord between the guy and girlfriend. Oh no, they'd never do it openly. Women are smarter than that. It will come in comments like, "I just don't want to see you get hurt." Read in between the lines: Your girlfriend will hurt you. I'm trying to protect you. That's instilling doubt. Very effective.

I believe there are many more types of hangers-on, but I think these three are enough to give any self-respecting girl a big headache. Of all, I think Type 3 is the worst. The most insidious. The most devious. And the most difficult to eradicate. Why? Type 2 is a piece of cake - the guy knows what's happening, feels mildly flattered, but also knows it's not serious. Type 1 is too grasping - in the initial period when a guy gets a new girlfriend, he's quite infatuated with the new girl, so he's quite immune to other women grasping for his attention. So it's rather easy to nip this in the bud. But Type 3... sigh. Won't let up even though you're old and married. Type 3 is difficult because you don't have the guy on your side. "She's my friend!" he'll say indignantly. Also, Type 3 has good camouflage - after all, she apparantly has his interests at heart. So how can you blame her, right?

I've been with Ad for four years now. Three years of dating, one year of marriage. You'd think I'd be free of these hangers-on. I wish. Type 3 still bugs me. And it's even worse, because her words no longer malign a girlfriend, they malign a wife. How is a girlfriend different from a wife? As a wife, I have certain privileges that girlfriends do not have, yet I also have responsibilities that girlfriends do not have. I promised to care for my husband - and that means making sure he's got white singlets to wear to work, his black socks are in his drawer when he needs them and his shirts are nice and clean. So, as a wife, I do all these things as a sign of my commitment to this marriage, and to put up with some idiot saying that she's afraid he'll get hurt is just too much to bear.

Mine and My Own

2007-02-08T03:48:00.000+08:00

I never want to see you again.

I don't care how messed up your life is, don't mess around with mine.

I'm not like you, I never will be. Please, my dear, we're not even in the same league. You may learn nothing in a year, I will learn lots and learn it better besides.

Don't you dare drive a wedge in between us husband and wife. Don't you dare imply that I am not happy with him, don't you dare imply I'm not content to stay at home and bear his child, don't you dare imply that I will bring him hurt, don't you dare imply I will bring ruin to my marriage. I will see you ruined before I let you succeed.

My husband is mine, I am his ezer kenegdo and woe betide anyone who threatens mine and my own.

You have violated my territory, crossed over where you should not have trod, muddied that which you should not have touched, and for that, I condemn you.

I do not pity you, you do not deserve it.

Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again.

Spice (Rant No.3)

2007-02-08T02:01:00.000+08:00

One mouse, many mice.
One louse, many lice.
One spouse, many spice.

Ok, that was corny.

All I have to say is this:
Spouses - never, ever, ever, ever take the side of your friend against your husband/wife unless you want to add spice to an already very hot concoction.

It's called sure die one.

P.S. This applies to dating couples also. Although maybe less spice.

The Cannot-Do-It Mentality (Rant No.2)

2007-02-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

Ok, this is a pet peeve of mine. I don't understand why so many people have the cannot-do-it mentality. Be patient with me as I try to explain what I mean.

A lot of people in Singapore have this "underachiever" mentality. Tell a student that she can get straight As and she goes, "Huh? Sure cannot." Of course lar, with that kind of mentality, definitely cannot. Where's that "I will try" kind of fighting spirit?

If you know me, you will know my Chinese sucks. When I speak, there's a funny chiang. But I got an A1 for "O" Levels and an A2 for "A" Levels. Do you want to know why? It's not because I'm brilliant (ahem!) but it's because I told myself I could do it and I die die will not admit defeat until I try. I know I sucked at Chinese. So I worked extra hard. If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again! I remember the first year I stopped having Chinese tuition. I was in Primary 4. I was horrified when I got my test paper back. 60%. My friend, Lois (gosh, I still remember this so clearly) leaned over my shoulder and said, "Hey, what happened to you?" From that moment on, I just tried harder. In Secondary School, I memorised every single word in the Chinese textbook and its "sentence construction". I did this for all textbooks for the four years (Sec 1 to Sec 4: 8 textbooks in all) in preparation for the "O" Levels. At the end, my Chinese textbooks were falling apart. But I got my A1.

I could have given up. I could have said, "Oh, I suck at this. I can't do it. My parents couldn't master Chinese. I don't think I can either." But I didn't.

My Chinese is dismal now. But at least I can say I did it.

In Sec 2 I had a P.E. teacher cum Track and Field coach who asked me what my target was for my 3000m event. I told him, "One minute forty seconds per round." (Now, this was record-breaking timing then.) You know what he did? He laughed at me. Later on that year, I went on to break the National Track and Field C Division record for 3000m. And yes, I did achieve my one-minute-forty-second target.

You think I'm a natural runner? I tell you, I've got flat feet. Prolonged high impact sports cause injury to my ankles, then knees, then back because of my flat feet. When I run, people used to laugh and say that I sounded like I was in labour. But I did it.

I could go on to tell you more stories where I triumphed despite the dire predictions of others - my Geography teacher in Secondary 4, my Chemistry teacher in JC, my ex-boyfriend (with regards to riding a motorbike, ahem!)... but you get the point.

So I'm sure you understand why my blood boils when I hear people putting others (or themselves) down with the cannot-do-it mentality, whether intentionally or not.

"Everyone cannot do it, you think you can meh?" I'm not everyone, and everyone is not me. Thomas Edison only needed that one lightbulb out of thousands. Who knows? Maybe you are that one lightbulb!

"He's a scholar, I'm a farmer, I cannot do it." If you think you're a farmer, you'll always be a farmer, no matter how much you want to be a scholar.

"Wah, how to compare? That one genius material you know!" And you are not?

Look, I'm not into the whole new-age thingy where you psycho yourself to do things. That path only leads to tons of tone-deaf people on American Idol. That's self-delusion - a whole different problem. But that's not what I'm saying here. I believe that one's expectations should always be tempered with reality. However, the cannot-do-it mentality hinders people from achieving the best they can because they are stopped from trying.

So, in closing, I pose this to you - the overachiever is separated from the underachiever by his willingness to try.

Think about it.

Stupidity (Rant No.1)

2007-02-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

Some people are just so stupid. I can tolerate ignorance but I cannot tolerate stupidity. Especially when you think you're so smart.

We were having dinner at Ad's classmate's place. It was basically a gathering for some of Ad's classmates from secondary school. Our hosts were a lovely couple with a nicely furnished home. What I loved most about their home was that they chose not to have a television set! It was a conscious decision that they had both made - they didn't want their time at home to be spent zombified in front of the TV. I thought it truly showed the depth of their commitment to each other - a commitment to make this marriage work.

Anyway, I digress. This blog entry is essentially a rant. So back to ranting mode.

One of the guests at tonight's dinner party was Miss High-and-Mighty. Everything went fine until we were having drinks in the living room after dinner. I was chatting with V about my pregnancy and how I had to give up a job offer from EDB when Miss HM butted in. Then began a whole slew of insulting, condescending and essentially stupid statements from her. Miss HM maintained that EDB was a "slave-driver" company. That's ok, a lot of people think so.

I found out I was pregnant the night before I was to sign the letter of offer from EDB. My point: when I went down to the EDB office that day, I still had a decision to make - whether or not to take the job.
Miss HM's opinion given very belligerently - "What's there to decide?"
Of course there's something to decide lah! Whether household income increases by $2k plus or remains status quo depends on my decision! Miss HM may be born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but other ordinary people have to think about money even though having a baby is important!

Miss HM continued in her know-it-all fashion - "I tell you, she'll be so upset when she goes there and slogs for a year and in the end comes out with nothing."
I'm getting really mad now. Urm, have you worked in EDB before? No? Then how would you know? And who do you think you are? You think you know so much about me? How dare you assume and proclaim to everyone that I'll come out with nothing? Sorry to disappoint you hor. I'm not usually the come-out-with-nothing type of person.

Miss HM's final blow - "Even if it's on her resume, so what?"
I really have nothing to say about this. Her stupidity has rendered me speechless.

And look - all the while she's speaking (except for the initial "What's there to decide?"), she's directing the conversation to my husband. Wonderful. Talking about me slogging and coming out with nothing, and my resume and she doesn't even address me!

I'm really pissed off. Really pissed off. I know that ultimately she's really just agreeing with my decision not to take up the offer. But in the course of her conversation - wait, no, that should be proclamation - she completely trampled over my feelings and my pride. Her whole demeanor was like talking to a child. I'm not a child! She thinks I shouldn't even have bothered to apply for EDB in the first place. But of course I knew the job would be tough! Everyone wants a cushy job that pays well, but who's so fortunate as to get that all the time? Of course I wanted a cushy job. But you don't always get what you want, and I'm not as naive to believe that you should bow out of a challenge just because a job is tough.

Can I conduct a mini-lesson in tact and EQ here?

1. Do not assume you know everything.
2. Do not assume you know everything about everyone.
3. Do not assume everyone wants to hear what you have to say.
4. Do not speak without listening.
5. (And for the truly stupid) Do not speak.

Inventions..

2007-02-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

I measured my belly today. My waist has expanded to 30 inches! Yikes!

Ad has been joking that I can now wear his jeans. Not funny.

Despite my increasing size, it's peculiar - I haven't put on a single pound. My weighing machine still reads 48 kg every morning. I think there must be something wrong with the machine. How come I have a 30-inch waist with no weight gain?

Anyway, I've bought myself a Bella Band. It's really cool!

It looks sort of like a black tube, but it's worn on your belly. It's a great invention - enables preggie women to wear their pre-pregnancy jeans/pants unzipped! It's great for me - my butt still fits my jeans and pants but I just can't zip up, so the Bella Band goes over the zip and holds up my pants! Unzipped!

You can find out more about the Bella Band here.

I think it's amazing how women, when confronted with their bodies' changing needs during pregnancy, find their inspiration to invent great products - so simple, yet so effective! I mean, I paid close to $60 for this Bella Band. Cutthroat eh? But it's so darn useful (and effective!) I'm thinking of getting another one in pink. Heh. The inventors must be making loads of money. And then there was this other story in a magazine that I was reading the other day. Some woman, frustrated with how difficult it was to sleep with such a huge tummy, invented some "pregnancy pillow", and started a business producing and selling it.

I think I should invent something too. Hmm. Let's see.

I'd love to invent something for my aching legs (they get tired and achy more often these days - don't really know why) but there's already the iSqueeze.

Ah - it would great if there were something to stop me from feeling like peeing so many times at night - but well, if you gotta go, you'd betta go! Besides, there's already the adult diaper, it's just horrible to imagine myself wearing one.

And what I would really really like, is a remote control that can switch on (or off) any appliance in the house. So I don't have to bend/stretch/walk. However, I'm pretty sure that some of the rich and famous already have a similar device in their homes.

Sigh. I guess I'm not too good at the inventing thing. Good thing God invented the husband - to massage my aching legs (and back and arms and wherever else aches), and to switch stuff on/off or fetch things for me. Unfortunately, that still doesn't solve the peeing problem, but as I said - if you gotta go, you'd betta go!

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

2007-01-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

Here's the famous Aesop's fable, the Boy Who Cried Wolf:

A Shepherd-boy, who watched a flock of sheep near a village, wanted some amusement during the long days he spent on the hillside guarding his sheep. So he decided to play a joke on his neighbours...

He shouted "Wolf! Wolf!" at the top of his voice, so he was heard in the village below.

The villagers dropped what they were doing and ran up the hill to help him, thinking that wolves were attacking their sheep. The boy laughed and thought this was a good trick.

The next day, the boy decided to see if he could get the villagers up the hill again. He cried "Wolf! Wolf!", and again, several villagers came out to see if he was in trouble.

On the Third day, the Wolf came.

The Shepherd-boy, now really alarmed, shouted in terror: "Pray, do come and help me; the Wolf is killing the sheep"; but no one paid any heed to his cries, nor rendered any assistance. The Wolf, having no cause of fear, at his leisure massacred the entire flock.

Taken from: http://www.aesopresources.com/fable/boywolf.php

An interesting fable, is it not? But's let take a closer analysis:-

What's really wrong about what the boy did? I mean, he's just a boy, a bit mischievous maybe, fooling around when he was bored. I think perhaps what's so bad is his recalcitrant lying - not stopping at once, even when he had the villagers fooled, but no, he had to do it again! And the poor villagers - amongst those who went up the hill on the second day, I'm sure there must have been some who thought, "Maybe he's lying again, but let's just believe in him once more."

Do you know what the moral of the fable is? It's not some gentle admonishment, "Don't cry wolf until it really comes." No, I'm afraid the moral is harsher, and clearer, than that - it's "There is no believing a liar, even when he is speaking the truth." Whoa - that's really harsh isn't it? Quite cynical - bitter, even.

But isn't that what the fable is about? Even though this short tale is titled "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", don't forget the other stars in this story - the villagers. The ones who believed in the boy again and again despite being lied to repeatedly. (in some other versions of this fable, the boy's crime is not repeated twice, but three or four times; see http://classics.mit.edu/Aesop/fab.1.1.html) The ones who end up kicking themselves for believing in him yet again.

If you were the boy, would you be angry at the end of the tale? Would you dare be angry at the villagers for not believing you? Would you blame them for not trusting in your word after you have lied to them time and time again? Would you dare be angry?

I know I wouldn't.

But supposing again, you are the boy, and you have indeed reformed. So you go around telling everyone that you'll never cry wolf again. How many do you think would believe you now? And even amongst those who wish to give you a second chance, don't you think there would be doubters? Especially, perhaps, the villagers who went up the hill many, many times before giving up on you.

So it seems pretty sad when you look at it like that, isn't it? You make a few mistakes and people don't trust you anymore, no matter how hard you try. And from this perspective, the moral of this fable no longer looks like a warning against believing liars, it begins to look more like a sad truth of life - there really is no believing (for) a liar, even when he is telling the truth. I mean, how would you know when's the truth and when's not?

So what can the poor boy do now? I don't know. Never lie ever again, I suppose. But ever again is a long long time, and unfortunately, that's exactly how long it's going to take.

My lousy dinner..

2007-01-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

I met Ad at Far East Plaza just now. We had quite a few errands to run; had to pick up his altered pants, had to terminate my gym membership and had to get our SCV set-top box replaced. Our SCV box suddenly decided to "explode" the other day. Poor Ad got quite a fright. Some sparks and a little bit of ashy material flew out of the box.

After getting the box replaced at the Customer Service Centre at Plaza Singapura, we headed to Thai Express for dinner. It was bad.

Ad ordered some claypot crayfish noodle thingy.

See! Cheaterbugs! It's supposed to be in a claypot, but this don't look like clay to me!

I ordered a plate of fried noodles with vegetables. It's supposed to be a vegetarian dish. Cost me $8.90 (excluding tax) and all I got was this measly portion of noodles.

Worst of all, they ran out of the dessert I wanted. Boo. It was just such a bad dining experience.

The managers were giggling and laughing at me when they saw me enthusiastically snapping photos of the food. Poor misled sods.

Pregnancy Definitions Part 1

2007-01-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

Post-partum: after you part from your tum(my).

Amazing Aunty

2007-01-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

I popped over to my in-laws' place earlier to pick up a hair dryer that my mom-in-law kindly gave us. And coincidentally, there was this performance thingy going on... Radin Mas Community Day, I think - a bit like getai you know, where a stage and tentages are set up on the basketball court. Since my in-laws stay on the third floor in the block next to the basketball courts, we got a pretty good earful (and somewhat obstructed view) of the performance.

I ignored the performance for the most part as I didn't quite understand the hokkien songs and I was more interested in trying to wheedle Ad's grandmother into teaching me how to make kueh bangkit. She's a terror - but such a dear. So, anyway, the performance didn't really interest me until some woman started singing the Hot Stuff song - you know, the song that goes Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin' I need some hot stuff baby tonight - and that really made me sit up and listen. Ad was next to me and he said, "That's the same person that was singing the hokkien songs earlier," and I was like WOW! She sounded pretty good - very different from the getai style which she was using to sing those hokkien songs earlier.

At this point, we looked out the window and from the silhouettes, we figured she was doing some kind of pole dance. So the bunch of us scurried downstairs but unfortunately, missed the Hot Stuff. What we saw, though, was this woman dressed in a sports cropped top and tight tights. Her next song was interesting - another hokkien one, and she was doing acrobatic bits on the pole that was set up in the middle of the stage - the "pole dance", I suppose.

But I was really impressed with her performance. Hey, this isn't some bar-top dancing chick we're talking about. This is some aunty, older than I am, abs pretty nicely defined (but I can't say the same for the rest of her body.. ahem), and although her pole dance veers more towards the acrobatic than the sensual, at least she can climb up the pole! Oh and her voice - man! Not common in a Chinese - an Asian powerhouse.

I think the Amazing Aunty is going to be my inspiration for my post-partum weight loss program.

Cabbage Patch Kid

2007-01-20T02:17:00.000+08:00

I bought myself another pregnancy magazine again. I've been reading so much material on the subject - from the internet, from books, from magazines - that I think I know all I can possibly know about pregnancy and childbirth without experiencing it for myself.

But I continue to buy the magazines - I don't know why. Maybe I just like looking at the pictures of babies and other preggie mothers.

In my new issue of Pregnancy and Birth I found some pictures of a woman giving birth. Quite graphic, I must say - you actually see the baby coming out of you-know-where, and there are some close up shots of the newborn all alien-like. I showed these pictures to Ad, just to see how he would react.

Ad: Eeww.. So gross! [Referring to pictures of the baby with the waxy greenish-cream coloured coating called vernix - this cheesy substance covers and protects the baby's skin in the womb. Some babies are born with a lot of vernix.]
Me: So how, you can tahan [witnessing the birth] or not?
Ad: Can lah. This is angmoh baby, that's why looks so gross. Chinese baby won't look like that.
Me: Nonsense, all babies look like that.
Ad: Eee... looks like cabbage...
Me: *speechless*

A Scary Thought

2007-01-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Ad and I went on a hospital tour today - just to check out the facilities of the hospital and to try and decide if we wanted a single-bedded room or a two-bedded room.

We passed by the nursery and the sight of all the cute babies made me melt! They looked so sweet, so serene, all swaddled up and sleeping peacefully despite the bright lights in the room. There were some cots with blue cards (boys) and other cots with pink cards (girls). One sweet baby boy near the viewing window was fidgeting about, and I caught a glimpse of tiny fingers. Cute-ness!

All this time, our tour guide was rambling on and on about something, but I was so distracted I barely heard what she was saying. No, the overwhelming cute-ness of the babies wasn't the distraction. In my mind, I had only one thought -

You mean that's the size of a newborn? That big? And that is gonna come out of my ....